Art appreciation

It is 1991 and I am sitting in the classroom fidgeting. Collage was fun but this having to take art appreciation was for the birds. I was there to learn how to work in the medical field. Art was the last thing on my mind, except that walking piece of art that was sitting just a few seats away.  The professor walked in and dimmed the lights before turning on the projector. The wall showed a all too familiar painting, The Last Supper. He gave us the history and details on how it had survived the second world war and facts that would probably interesting to an art major I guess it was interesting but really I already had seen it and fine it had some cool history. Nineteen-year-old me was not a fan of the classics.

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A few more slides from his trip to see the painting in person and how marvelous it was. Yes, I was head tipped back zoned a million miles away. Chad my study partner slapped me to make sure I was still paying attention. If I had been, he would have never gotten a hit in. I cut him a dirty look and focused on the painting. The timing could not have been better. No Becky in the front row did not start her cheer/stripper routine or anything like that. It was the next frame he showed. I sat there stunned and in total fascination.

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It was The Last Supper by Salvador Dali. I had seen his work before though to be honest I had little care for art before then, it was just a rad painting. I think the prof saw my interest and he left the image up as he spoke about Dali and some of the more odd and interesting facts about what has become my favorite painter.

In many ways his surreal art reflects how I view much of the world. He was often call exotic or eccentric, but I feel he saw the world much how I feel it is. Twisted and broken to those who would but look. Melting as everyone seems to carry on like everything is fine. Breaking out of the bonds of everyday thinking and being willing to accept it is not a perfect world but a beautiful one that is filled with strange and glorious things for one’s brave enough to seek them. So be brave and step out and take in this crazy wonderful world.

Come and enjoy the rest of the fun for this weeks Wicked Wednesday

Wicked Wednesday

 

In the Mirror

This is an adult write, so if you are under 18 please leave. Also it might be a little intense so read with caution it might trigger emotions

Looking at the glass what will I see, what is looking back at me?

Lines creeping as time marches on, silver showing for all to see

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Looking deeper what will I see there, eyes dark and hollow

The pitch and roll of life make a challenge for the horizon to follow

The sparkle and luster faded over time but not yet gone away

The thirst for adventure never quenched, the fiery need to play

Dreams danced and twisted, some lay gnarled and withered now

Time the friend and thief makes all things change somehow

The fog has crept over, steam had clouded the sight, yet here I am

Standing in the room seeing the suddenly exposed hand

Only in the mist can it be seen, a treasure to be revealed

Like a desire that only the right circumstance can be revealed

Fuck I can smell it, that sweet scent of fear excreted from every pore

Pushing till there is only the crumbling edge and nothing more

Yes, the sweet taste as I run my tongue along the spine savoring

The flesh rising in bumps as the heat of my breath become intoxicating

Pressing on as the growing need overrides the fear, a whimper

Lust has a way of making the raw desire become something simpler

Close you eyes and just feel, shiver from the chill of the steel

The rush of sliding the blade over flesh, the gasps and shudders

Blindfolded so sound and smell become heightened, even touch

A scrape, a ping, what is he doing? It is a mind fuck to do such

That primal growl in the ear, a nail sliding along the face slowly

Beg me my little fucking whore, my words drip with lusty honey

The world gone, just your body locked here with my attentions

Scream in need, yell in hunger, cry out in lust, be alive with intention

Scream foul if you dare, this is the edge of madness and desire

Letting it all go, there is only this moment to feel everything inspired

Ask for it, say what you need as helplessly the ropes hold you fast

Taste it on your tongue my fingers on your lip now pressed

Lashing the needing flesh with my tongue, cry in pleasure now

Release any pent-up reservations and let the feeling rush and flow

Real it back in, come back to earth and remember to breathe

Aching as the crash comes, falling like a comet into the reeds

Sweat flowing like a river off bodies, gasps for air slowing

The body relaxing as the world flows back, routine showing

The eyes looking back, the feeling it is all off track but still here

The fog lifting as the fan runs everything slowly becomes clear

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The face looking back showing a few years but still the same I knew

A deep breath today is another day starting fresh and new

Will it be a wild adventure, or will it be my version of normal?

Will I spend the day in my head or will it become something formal?

Wicked Wednesday

 

Rambling Down the Road

This contains adult sexual situations so if you are under 18 go away.

Riding through downtown always on the watch for a rider, always on the prowl. It is not exactly predator and prey but at least it is something to take the edge off. You must have a feel about it, some would call it a sixth sense. What areas to cruise at what time of day, almost a need to be able to predict the need of a random stranger. A ping and I head to the place to pick up my next rider.

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I pull up to a hotel on a less than savory side of town. The hotel is run down, the light on the sign is flickering like it is threatening to go out at any time. I can smell the weed clinging to the early morning air as I push the button that sends the rider a signal I am there. It is always a crap shoot as to what kind of person will be at an establishment like this. A door opens a couple rooms up and a lady is waving to me with her phone in hand, a universal signal to a driver like me that is the person I am looking for. She opens the door and gets in, not what I had been expecting at all. There is the smell of an expensive perfume to accompany her smart style of dress. She did not have the disheveled appearance I was anticipating. A quick verification she was the correct person and the address and off we go into the early morning darkness.

I focus on the road as she is on the phone talking to someone and she laughs then bids them a good morning and thanks them for a wonderful night. Suddenly it is quiet except for the music I play to keep my mind occupied. I can see her in the mirror as she is working with her phone a minute later, she clears her throat and apologizes for being preoccupied. I tell her it is no big deal to me; I have had business types spent an hour or longer in dead silence working on some corporate thing as I take them to their destination. I ask how her night was then it is like a dam opens and suddenly I go from being a driver to a confidant. At first it was broad strokes of how great her night was, then as we chatted details began to spill out. The streetlight I passed lit up the back seat. I could see her auburn hair she was twisting as she was looking right back at the mirror. Her dark eyes held a series of secrets that were slipping out from her red painted lips. The more we talked the more she became explicit in her description, also the more I had to focus on the road and not the reaction it was having on my body.

It seems her lover she had just left there was skilled at oral pleasure. I agreed with her that men that had that skill set were few and far between. She teased and asked if I had that skill as well. I felt the sudden flush in my face as I answered yes before my edit button chose a more diplomatic answer. She giggles and said she bet I made women happy then. I replied I have never had any complaints. She led the conversation further into her escapades of the night and how she loved him using a blindfold and holding her down. Traffic has picked up as rush hour is rapidly approaching, the time of what I call auto ballet. She is playing with her phone again and smiling as she bites her bottom lip. FUCK! I just blew a yellow light, at least it was not red. She giggled again and told me he took pictures of them last night with her phone so she would have them to remember. I see the upcoming red light and stop for it.

We get to the destination as she sits and waits for a moment. I end the ride, but she still is waiting and asks if I am in a hurry, she wants to show me something. I turn my meter off, and she leans back in the dark back seat. I can see her clearly as she spreads her legs and starts to touch herself. It is wicked fun watching as she touches and plays with her lips and slips a finger then two inside. She is looking right at me as she continues. She asks if I want to show her those oral skills I talked about earlier. I did not hesitate as I got out and entered the back seat. I could smell the scent of lavender soap and her juices as I leaned closer. Replacing her fingers with mine I enjoyed her gasp. I worked her wetness and rubbed my thumb on her eager clit. Her breath was getting faster and more ragged as her fingers gripped the sides of her skirt. I leaned closer and her fingers now gripped my hair. I followed her lead to where she wanted, needed attentions. It did not take long before she was having her first orgasm, I refused to let up and brought her to another. After I have gotten her to her third, she panted and pushed me away still shaking. Reaching into her pocket she pulled out a condom. She asked if I minded, of course I was good to go as she told me to lay back. Her hand soft as she worked it over me, then we adjusted so she could let me slip into her. I kissed her neck and gave a few nips as well and tugged on her earlobe. I rocked her slowly at first adjusting myself so I could enjoy her as much as she was enjoying. Before too long I felt my need growing as I released with my primal growl. The look of shock and sudden pleasure as she exploded under me was perfect.

A honking car as I had been sitting at the green light too long apparently. I looked in the mirror as she giggles looking back at me. I got to shop daydreaming at red lights.

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Wicked Wednesday

 

8-6 My History

It is thrilling, even a rush with the fright that sometimes comes with pushing the boundaries. Be it in writing or in some form of play. The thrill of seeing how far, how fast, how much can be crammed into a single event. Hockey is my favorite game, I grew up watching it with my grandfather and the best games, the ones that had us screaming at that old box on 4 legs near the fireplace was the times when they got into an altercation. Gloves flying off, helmets sliding across the ice as a fisticuffs moment broke out. Even better if the Rangers were beating the crap out of one of those looser Canadian teams, at least that is how it was in that house. Of course, the Rangers never lost, they were robbed by bad calls.

Fast forward to my teen years, decisions that would mold the rest of my life were the word of the day. What college did I plan to attend? What career was I looking at trying out? I remember my career counselor all but beating his head on his desk with me.  Apparently, the troublemaker student I was at the time did not have the foreseen discipline to become a doctor, a gynecologist to be exact. In retrospect that would have been a horrible choice for me, but I will skip the reasons why. I really wanted to become a writer but that was far from smart enough a career choice for someone of my skills. The thing is, I think if I had started back then I might have done quite well at it, potentially even making a name for myself. “Do not sell yourself short!” my parents’ mantra that pushed me into their mold of what they felt would be a good fit for me. During this time, I discovered girls did not give you cooties. In fact, they were quite pleasant company and there were benefits to getting especially close to some of them.

I was smitten with Kitten when I was fourteen. Her long red hair and buxom chest as she smiled with those deep blue eyes. Sigh, my first kiss and making out, first petting sessions. We never got any farther than that and we still stay in contact talking about life from time to time. My real sin was Jen, that brown haired demon in female form. We were rival high schools and both in the marching band of our respected school. We met at a competition and I was smitten with her. Romeo met his Juliette; we sealed the deal of our relationship on my sixteenth birthday when I skipped school and we started making out in a field. I was raw and new to relationships, but she was brazen and fiery, she knew what she liked and wanted without shame of expressing her desires. I got a crash course in sex and sexual fantasy. She wanted it to be rough and me to take what I wanted. Looking back there probably was some issue with her that I was unaware of, but I thought this was how all relationships worked. The next three years we were on and off again, we both dating others in the midst. Several of her female friends ended up in the back seat of my car. I felt like a big deal and I had quite a reputation of being a libertine. I was aggressive and forward, there was no edit button in my mind to mouth connection. I was fortunate that in all that insanity I never “took things too far” despite my aggressive nature.

College was a slap in the face, that pack I ran with had vanished and suddenly I was on my own. I met a sweet proper catholic girl who was always blushing at my forwardness and advances. When we got alone and I pinned her against the wall for a kiss and a feel I felt something all right. Her hand across my face. I was shocked and as much as it frustrated me, I also wanted to know what I had done wrong. That is when I learned my previous experiences were not the norm for a relationship. Of course, I was not interested in her version of a relationship. I listened and learned from her before we went our separate ways. I was soon introduced to another who was a huge influence in my world, she and I would sneak off to have fun in public places, it was a rush and I was hooked. She also introduced me to a guy who totally rocked my world like a F5 tornado in a trailer park.

I was raised men were to be with women, end of story no exceptions. Anyone who deviated from this was a pervert of the greatest order and would suffer horribly in life. He was as bold and brazen with me as I had been with Jen. The first time he took my face in his hand and pressed me against the wall for a kiss I almost collapsed. We spent that evening together and talked once he realized I had never been kissed by a man much less anything else. He was bisexual and that was fine by me, I was submissive to him and honestly in love. The next year was educational to say the least, he allowed me to express my thoughts freely and without shame or judgment. He introduced me to the wonderful world of BDSM and sexual freedom. When a situation arose that meant I would not be following the career path I originally started on he set me free. It was a tailspin spiral that sent me into chaos.

My first so called marriage was filled with secret affairs and wicked games. It was the only thing that made me feel alive and human, when that ended, I was a rogue free agent with a lust for adventure and all things pleasurable as I saw them. I lived on secrets and lies as a way of life. My second and very brief marriage was Jen 2.0 with a taste for rough and forced. We had no boundaries set, no safe words, her world was drugs alcohol and sex and mine was sex and alcohol. When I came to grips of the coming disaster, I got sober and she left. I spent years just floating about doing what I wanted but never in anything that resembled a committed relationship. My third marriage was good at first. I had hit a point I needed a break because this was not how “normal” people lived. It was good for a while, but a series of personal tragedy started ripping us apart. I missed the chaos, I needed it back to keep my sanity as I watched my wife of the time shrivel into a shell of the person she once was. I was an online flirt, perverted, shameless and found my footing in the poetry realm.

I started back on my exploration of my darker side; it was like coming up for air. Epic horror poems were rolling out as I reveled in the shock and awe they produced. That is when I ran across the mistress of angst. She was a force of nature and we ran in similar circles. A friend introduced us, and we got to talking. It was life changing to again be with someone who understood and accepted me as I was. She became my submissive and we were handfasted not long after. It was been a beautiful messy ride of an intensity I cherish, perfectly balanced chaos. We are open and poly, there are no lies, no secrets as we talk about everything.

So here I am, looking back as I am trying to make since of a upside down world. What is my next step, how will I proceed? Maybe I need to get that dark ink flowing again, after I wrote Dark Christmas several years ago it seemed to have stalled me. Maybe I need to revisit it and see what comes to mind.

Our loony tune life

This is something a bit different, I always talk about communication so here is an example of a letter, well poem I wrote to express to my sub how I was feeling. Open and honest feelings are important so I will give everyone a look at how it works for me.

I am trying to say it without causing a fight

To not make it sound like you are wrong I am right

I need to tell how I feel before things explode

I also know that much is to be said for how it is told

Things change as time moves on this, I understand well

How do I share what is becoming a personal hell?

I think I clearly expressed what is on my mind

Dreams and ideas that make me feel crazy all the time

What I want, what I think what I feel, words fail me

Never before have they, maybe because it is insecurity

Yes your logic is sound, but the idea keeps sniffing around

There must be a solution before I lash out or drown

How odd to me, this never would have been an issue before

There is a huge difference, you I love and adore

The hiding, lying and cheating all stopped with you

Even secrets are not a thing to have for us two

Now I am the keeper of secrets again, I don’t know why

I damaged you more than your injury when I made you cry

I ripped your soul open because that locked place in your mind

I could not just accept some things should be left alone for all time

I have cried myself to sleep many times in quiet frustration

For my unforgivable acts there is no proper compensation

I am far from the thing you met, you have changed much in me

I remember the destructive beast I once was happy to be

Shallow and self-serving, ungrateful for gifts given in love

The change so slow I did not notice it till I felt a nudge

The Texas sized mistake as she came with pretense to play

I never forget how angry you seemed that things went that way

I attract the crazy so often that is true, she was just another

I felt guilt I missed the sign hurting you to play with some other

Flirting and flaunting have subsided for the most part online

The beast side openly shown to keep them away from my line

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What has come of us, will we be the old couple that stares over tea?

Glory days behind as we feel the coming inevitability

Scratching days off the calendar, sharing the stories once again

You remember the time when we, oh yeah, well mind hearing it again?

I am angry inside, we are not supposed to wither and die

Maybe it is just me filled with my arrogance, vanity and pride

I am angry with Laura, shattered a situation I had hope in

I am angry with Covid as it has forced un into isolation

I am angry with myself for wanting to feel alive again

I am angry with your injury and not being able to play again

Other forces bear down from outside, I feel contempt for the world

My mother, brother and so much more like darts are hurled

I know I am petty and ungrateful because I want so much more

I promise you this when I leave each day I will come back through the door

You are my heart and soul, this will ever be true for all time

Please be patient with me as I share the things that are on my mind

Wicked Wednesday