Can we negotiate

I felt a shudder as Steven was close to my other side. Sara took the Bowie knife and slowly cut the remaining cloths off Jackie and tied her down.

Continued from the story like I have been running for the past month. Enjoy and for those under 18 this is not a place for you do please leave.

The previous stories are .The Great Adventure .The Game .The Cave

Sitting down on one side of the makeshift table with Jackie my mind raced as Chad, Sara and Steven stood on the other. The feeling of apprehension growing in my gut as different scenarios played out in that crazy space everyone has in their mind. Best case we would somehow walk out unscathed from the cave then run like hell back to civilization. I am not really one to focus on a best case though, my mind ran more along the lines of never being found as we are tortured and left in the woods for the bears. Maybe our remains be found when they were breaking ground for the banjo hall of fame or something like that.

Sara was the wild card, twirling her long pigtails and smacking her gum like some country version of Harley, I knew she would have to be the one to reason with. The guys might be the muscle, but it was easy to see she was in control. Her crop top just barely covering her ample breast showing off her tight abs, the short cutoff blue jean shorts all but flaunting the rest of what she had to offer. Both the guys in their dirty stained blue jeans with dingy cut off tee-shirts sporting a different rock band, were calm as their eyes stayed focused on us. Jackie did her best to keep herself covered with the remains of her cut tee-shirt.

“So Bo, riddle me this,” Sara started off with a playful glen in her eye “you liked it when you thought Chad was watching you two, right?”

“Yeah, I guess.” I stammered

“Oh no big boy, you liked it. You made sure Chad got a good look-n-see. You did not really seem to mind till you felt trapped by me and Steven. So, do you feel trapped, scared, worried thinking about what we might do to you guys?”

Swallowing hard I new she was toying with me as well. Testing my reaction, my response. A classic battle of wills and resolve, or was it something simple as she was taking charge even if I did not wish it? No, if that were the case we would not being talking, the guys were people of action more that thought and restraint. This was more a cat and mouse game with her, or maybe more a couple kids coming to the playground and the others wanting to see if they could play too.

“The lady asked you a question.” Steven barked gruffly

I snickered and he bowed up. I knew he felt slighted but calling Sara a lady was funny to me. She was a far cry from my definition of a lady.

“My apologies man, no need to get all bent out of shape.”

It was easy to see he was trying to show off for Sara, but she was focused on me. I doubt there had been many men in her past that would have been difficult for her to manipulate. For her, I was an unknown, a challenge, she needed to know how far she could get into my head.

“You think I am not a lady” Sara said with a playful pout.

She got up and rounded the table. Running her hand up Jackie’s arm I saw Jackie tense up even more. Sara leaned in close and kissed the side of Jackie’s face, her lips slowly gliding towards those soft lips I had felt many times. Sara’s hand slid to the back of Jackie’s head and applied enough pressure to lock lips as I watched Jackie melt into the moment. I was far from the first time she had been with a woman and I always enjoyed watching or participating with them. The situation here though was quite different than any other we had been in before. It was obvious Chad and Steven were enjoying the view too, but they remained on their side of the table.

“Tell me tasty little thing, what would it take for you to agree to let me any my boys enjoy some time with you, and your guy?”

Jackie looked at me with confusion and concern in her eyes. We were far from exclusive but normally we had an evening or more of negotiation for the wants, needs, soft and hard limits. This would be a first for us negotiating on the fly.  She looked at the trio as they eyed her like a new toy then looked back at me and bit her bottom lip. That was a sign I knew saying she was game for seeing what would happen.

“What do you have in mind?” I asked after the long hanging pause

“Well big boy, how about you guys watching us girls enjoy each other and I tie this little sweet thing down. Nothing harsh just some oral and fucking. With condoms of course, we like to be safe when we have fun.”

I looked down at Jackie and gave a shrug, she looked up and smiled sheepishly then gave a nod to say she was game. The tension changed from apprehension to excitement as the guys started to shuffle around to get a better view.

Sara smiled as she kissed Jackie and ran her hands over her body and slid open her already cut shirt. It was so sexy watching them play together. Chad crept up next to me to get a better view. He reached down to his boot and I gasped as he pulled out a boot knife.

“Hey buddy, relax. Sara is a pro and you are going to love watching this.”

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I felt a shudder as Steven was close to my other side. Sara took the Bowie knife and slowly cut the remaining cloths off Jackie and tied her down. Chad was right, I loved watching her work, she was as good with a knife as I was. She turned and gave me a wink then handed me the blade as the guys got undressed and stood waiting for their turn as Sara enjoyed the sweet taste of Jackie.

“Just say red if things get too much for you baby, okay?” Sara said with a wink.

To be continued…

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Breath Play

I am continuing to share what I know about some of the kink world from my experiences. If you are under 18 this is not for you so scram.

Breath play is a multifaceted subculture that is part of the kink world. From auto-erotic asphyxiation to manual strangulation by a partner, it is considered one of the more dangerous of all the categories on the extreme side of the kink world because if it is done without a proper understanding it can cause brain damage and death. One does not have to look far to read a story of auto-erotic asphyxiation gone horribly wrong. There are also cases where a person either through ignorance or being “caught up in the moment” have compromised their partners ability to receive oxygen to their brain, thus leading to death or brain damage. I know, you are thinking damn man you are driving the point in hard about the danger. You are correct, I want everyone to be safe and have a great time. I would never recommend auto-erotic asphyxiation, ever! In a solo situation if something goes wrong there is little to no chance of being able to get help in time, even if your “buddy” is watching from Skype or Zoom. With a partner even then certain situations I personally refrain from engaging in. The potential risk is more then I consider acceptable for the reward.

Coffee

I will never use an object or device that can lock or catch where it is difficult to release. All you belt lovers I would highly recommend making sure the belt was unable to be secured when it is tightened. If the belt locks like it was designed to do then you will have to tighten it more and take a few extra seconds, that you may not have, to release the latch. A D-ring attached to a leather piece or old belt would be safer than an actual belt buckle and you can get one for fifty cents or less and any hardware or general store. The same goes for people who enjoy using rope to choke with. Twisting the rope to lock it so you do not have to use so much pressure to hold it can be dangerous. Twisting will tighten the rope even more around the neck, adding to the pressure you already applied. I seriously doubt your arms will get tired before you should have released the tension on the rope.

My personal recommendation would be using a bare hand to the sides of the throat and applying pressure for a few seconds to the artery, seconds being the count of ten and release. If you are unsure where the artery is then do a little research beforehand.  For any objects used on the throat to choke, said objects should be thick and preferably soft [like clothing] to keep even pressure. A shirt or towel are favorites of mine, they are thick and soft but get the intended result. Never use excessive pressure because it would be easy to damage or crush the larynx and /or trachea, also known as the windpipe.

Breath Play slides in and out of all the other forms of kink play like a sweet syrupy additive to a scene, it brings an additional euphoria to the one being properly choked. For the one doing the choking it is a rush of power and control. From the hands on, using a cloth on a neck, a pillow over the face (definitely not recommended without hand signals) to bagging; all come together in mysterious way to heighten the experience for some harder type kink players.

A simple hand over the mouth and pinching the nose is a form of breath play as well, often part of fear play I enjoy using in scenes. As simple as it is, the outcome is quite effective. It is close and personal normally with body to body contact. This form of breath play can also be applied by pressing a partner into the crook of the shoulder. Because the partner’s facial expressions cannot be seen this should only be done if both parties have talked about it before and have preset non-verbal signals.

Bagging is one I have never been interested in, it just never had been something I found fascinating or erotic, but I do know others that do. It is when a plastic bag is used over the face of a partner to slow or stop their breathing. I can not give any advice on this kind of play except like all other breath play use caution and think safety first.

Aquatic breath play is one I really do not care for. It included water boarding which in my opinion is akin to torture. Also, I have heard of holding someone’s head under water in a tub or pool while engaged in some form of sexual activity. For me this is way out of my boundaries. The danger of aspiration and further complications are high. Even though I identify as a sadist this is a realm of torture too far for me. In my opinion breath play should be about enjoying the ride not giving the other person a traumatic experience.

Before engaging in any kind of breath play type activity I highly suggest researching the risks and proper ways to engage in whatever form of this play you desire to try. Yes, it can be fun and yes, I do enjoy partners that green light breath play. I just want everyone to be smart and safe. Have fun enjoy and always educate yourself.

Blade Play

This is a blog for adults so if you are under 18 scram.

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There is a lot of debate over certain parts of RACK play. Each comes with their own risks and today I would like to talk about one of my favorites, blade play. Before anything else there needs to be a high level of trust. A blade is not a toy and things can go bad quickly if there is an accident. For me blade play is any time a blade is used in a scene. From using one to shave off the wax in a hot wax scene, fear play and even bloodletting, all fall into that category, in my opinion. One of the most interesting things for me is how so many times different types of play intermingle. I already mentioned wax and fear play, but a blade is not necessary for either of them.

The basic is using a knife to heighten a scene in some way. I will never forget a scene I saw at a club in Atlanta call The Chamber. Dim lights as a lady dripped candle wax on a guy who was tied to a table. It was obvious he was enjoying it. Once the candles had burned short, I thought it was over as she let him lay there for a minute. Then she pulled out a boot knife, her first move was fast sliding along her chest. I remember the gasps around me as I was transfixed on the silver that was showing an edge of red. It was the wax she had quickly shaved off. The next few minutes were frozen in my brain as I watched her shave the wax off his body. It was amazingly effective way to clean him but even more how she was making well practiced moves around his chest, belly and down his legs that had been painted with the hot drips.

I had used blades before but never like that. It was riveting to observe. My previous blade play was for fear play and some light cutting. I had a blade I kept dull so that I would not accidentally cut my partner. I could put it on the throat without the chance of cutting them badly, but there was that feeling of them stiffening because subconsciously there is always a reaction to cold steel in sensitive areas. It is a rush of primal predator and prey, that feeling of total control. It is often labeled as a sadistic style of play because of the close tie to using fear and pain.

Sometime cutting is involved too. I become transfixed on that beautiful crimson welling that can mingle with sweat or just weave over the skin in a slow line. Drawing lines along the flesh to make a design, a heart being my favorite. It is a way of making sure my presence is remembered longer than a bruise lasts. Here the blade needs to be sharp, mine are razor sharp. Caution to know how deep to go, often just breaking the surface is enough. Be sure the blade is clean as well; infections and excessive bleeding could be potential issues as well. Always have a first aid kit handy and be SOBER! Drinking and blade play are a poor mix. It would be easy to have a serious accident with a sharp blade. Also, alcohol makes a person bleed more, ask any good tattoo artist.

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I have several types of blades for different styles of blade play as well. From huge to incite a fear response to a small one that looks like it is a joke till the razor-sharp edge carves perfect lines. There is a natural fear of a blade hardwired in most people, that is why it is so effective in fear play. My regular pocketknife is the perfect size to produce such fear. Not obscenely big but big enough to make a person pay attention to it.

I can not stress enough with blade play to actively be aware of what you are doing. If you are not sure, do not do it. Safety is paramount in this kind of play; it would be easy to cause injury or death. With all that said if you do engage then enjoy. I hope this helps, if you have any questions do not be afraid to ask and I will do my best to answer them.

The Cave

Welcome to the next installment of this story line. The trigger warning is in place for readers. If you are under 18 scram, you are not old enough to be reading this. It is time to start the decent into the rabbit hole of where I envision this going. The first two parts are The Great Adventure  and The Game  .   ~And off we go!~

The cave offered Jackie and I a fun place to explore our kink even more. The couple bed like areas might have been used for sleeping or something but that must have been years ago. At least that was my hope. The notches were perfect for the climbing rope I always carried in my bag. Tying Jackie down I started to tease her through her clothing. Her nipple responding as I blew hot air onto the material then pulled back allowing the natural coolness of the cave to excite them. Those mews of pleasure encouraged me as I slid my hand inside her shorts. Running my finger over the wet hungry lips I had many wicked plans for later. Her back arching and eyes pleading for me to continue. Caught up in the moment I took my boot knife and grabbed her shirt. Without a word I cut it open exposing her beautiful breast. That gasp of shock and surprise made my mind race as I leaned down and took a hard nipple in my teeth. The whimpering moan as I tugged was sexy as hell.

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The sound of footsteps on the loose floor behind us made me freeze. Jackie was to in the moment to notice as I turned to see Chad the property owner watching us. He smiled and gave a wink as if to encourage me. I am all good with people watching but this was an unusual situation. The reality of us being in a cave on his property and the way the place seemed too perfect a find sent a chill of anxiety for a moment. Jackie was too far into what I was doing to let that stop me. Chad leaned against a wall and gave a since of ease as I proceeded to bite and lick over her body. I knew those favorite places she had, when my teeth grazed her armpit Jackie pulled hard against the rope. This time I used more force latching on. Her pleasure filled cry as I felt my teeth grip her flesh, she was going crazy as I knew how much she needed to feel my finger in her. Pushing into her wetness there was no holding back as Jackie exploded, the beautiful sound of her orgasm crashing against the walls of the cave.

The sound of Chad giving a clap for our performance shocked Jackie out of the moment.

“What the hell?” She yelped. “How long has he been watching us?”

I shrugged my shoulders “I do not know. I am glad he enjoyed watching.”

“Untie me!” Jackie demanded

“Why? He is just watching, and I know how much you enjoy being watched.” I growled looking in her eyes

“You put on one hell of a show.” Chad said “Plus if I remember right this cave is in the off-limits area. Ever wonder why?”

I swallowed hard as I could see he was really the one in control. Especially when his girl twirled around him. She had been hidden by his shadow in the dim light.

“Oh baby, they look like so much fun, do you think I could play with her too?” she begged Chad

“You would have to ask them Sara. Right now, it looks like they are scared as jackrabbits.”

Chad was right, maybe it had been too many crime dramas but all I could think was we were in real danger now, especially with the two of them there between us and the exit. I reached down to pull the quick release to let Jackie up. As I touched the tope another voice from the shadows.

“Not so fast sport, we were just enjoying the show. No need to get all flustered and run off.”

I could not see the person saying it but the shadowy figure with the gruff male voice sent a shudder along my spine. I looked down as Jackie as she looked back with fear and pleading in her eyes. I pulled the rope; it was do our die as her hands were free. My heart racing as they stood their ground. Jackie untied her feet as I moved closer to them to protect her.

“Aw Buck, no need to get all excited the voice said as he took a step forward.

The tall well build new guy was imposing. He reached out his hand to shake mine

“Hi, my name is Steven. I help with the upkeep here. We just heard some noises and thought something bad was going on. Glad you guys are okay. That is one hell of an adventurous girl you got there.”

Trepidation raced through me as I reached out to shake his hand. His big grin as we shook hands did little to set my mind at easy.

“So now that you know me, how about we talk about what you two are doing here?”

“I think you figured that out watching” I shot back smartly

“No need to get all huffy man, I was just trying to be friendly. You want to be friendly right?”

The tone of his voice made it clear we were going to be friendly if we wanted to or not. I looked back at Jackie. The look on her face was between worry and curiosity. I knew we had played games where she was helpless with strangers making me watch but this was different, this was real.

Sara walked over to me, she ran her finger along my arm and over my chest. There was a sultry mischief begging for action. She was adjusted to getting her way as she slid her hand down and gripped my crotch.

“Oh baby, you got something I would really enjoy seeing in action.” Her voice almost a dare as she continued her fondling.

“What do you have in mind?” I asked before I lost my nerve.

“There you go tiger.” Chad said. “How about we all sit down and see what kind of an agreement we can come to.”

Jackie and I stood on one side of the makeshift bed as Chad, Steven and Sara took the other side.

To be continued…

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”Wicked

That hot September afternoon

This is an adult post so if you are not 18 or older leave

That hot September afternoon, the summer held us all in its grip. The sweat running down my back as every muscle was sore and pushed almost as far as possible. The dust hung in the breezeless afternoon as we rested under the tree, sticking to our skin and turning to paste in our mouths with every breath. Work on the fence was almost complete just a few more holes to dig and posts to set before the wire could be run. A dust devil danced and twisted on the dirt road not far behind the rusty old pickup truck, we would be finished by nightfall as I forced myself to get up one more time.

Jamie just laid there watching, the brim of her old ragged baseball hat pulled down over her eyes to keep the sun out. She rocked that country girl look with her button up plaid shirt tied at the midriff and those short cut off jeans that were little more than worn out threads. She was not much help when work was involved but she sure was easy on the eyes. A couple hours later I was done as she proclaimed me the victor of the fence line, well the posts at least. The line we would run tomorrow.harvest_moon

The moon rose over the edge of the field, it was big and reddish orange. That meant it was going to be another hot day tomorrow. Another day of me working in the blistering sun and Jamie watching nearby. I took my shirt out of the cab of the truck and wiped the sweat off my face, probably smearing more dirt and anything else. I could feel her eyes on me as I walked to the back and pulled the recycled milk jug and took several long drinks of the sweet tea that was in it.

“Help me up.” She playfully said

I shot her that crazy look I was known for. I was exhausted from working and now that spoiled brat wanted me to help her off the ground.

“Your legs ain’t broken” I shot back in my southern drawl.

“I’ll make it worth your while.” She said and bit her bottom lip.

I really hated how she would play me, or at least try to. Sometimes I wondered what she would have done if I had just gotten in the truck and left her in the field. Knowing her, she would have waited till her daddy came and found her then I would have gotten in trouble. I had been working for him for several seasons now, he knew we fancied each other but do not think he realized how much. That first year I was just a high school kid for summer help, and she was running around in pigtails and braces. Now years down the road I would work because it was easier to get in shape on the farm than at the gym. Summer break was like a bootcamp to get back into shape and I had definitely felt it this year. The sun turned my skin a deep copper color, my muscles grew, and the fat melted off in the hot summer days. Jamie traded in her pig tails and braces for a ponytail and midriffs. I know she caught me more than once checking her out.

I offered her a hand and pulled her up with enough force to pull her into my arms. Her lithe frame crashed into my body as I held her. Her eyes flashed that fire of a wild crazy girl I knew was in there before she tried to look offended and play at pushing me away. I did not let go this time. This time she looked in my eyes and I could see her look softened; her push lessened as I leaned in. That first kiss was electric in that field under the tree. The first flickers of fireflies were dancing in the field, a lone coyote howled in the distance.

I picked her up and sat her on the tailgate, my lips gazed hers again. I could feel her shudder as I kissed her, when I nibbled on her earlobe, she let out a mew sound. It was a great feeling as I knew she felt the same attraction I did. Nothing was spoken as my hands ran over her body, then slowly untied her shirt. Her soft skin as my lips kissed her all over and slowly down to her shorts. I fumbled with the button on the top then used my teeth to pull the zipper down. Her scent was intoxicating as I slid the shorts down with my hands but never mover my face. That first taste of her nectar was all it took for me to need more. My tongue licked and danced, making sure I covered ever spot and listened to what made her whine the most. When I found that combination I kept going, repeating the same pattern as her back arched and her fingers locked in my hair. Her yelps and moans filled the field till she let out a series of oh god and unintelligible words. I let her calm down as she looked at me with pleading eyes.

“Wha..wha…What just happened?” she finally stammered out.

“I would guess you just and an orgasm.”

“Does it always feel like that?”

“I guess, I don’t really know. Wait you never had that before?”

She shook her head no and even in the dim light I could see her blush.

“Did you like it?”

Her head slowly shook yes, and I could see the fire growing in her eyes as I could tell she wanted more.

Before summer’s end we were like wild rabbits, in the fields, the barn loft, even the old building we found at the edge of the property line. Summer was winding down and I was getting ready to go back to school. As I left I had no idea what I had set in motion, that was the last time I saw Jamie but from what I heard she became a crazed beast.

The Game

Her blonde pigtails bound with the bright pink bows bounced around her face as she playfully walked toward Chad. Her long slender finger poked him in the chest and drew a heart along the checkered pattern shirt. She turned playfully leaning back and running her hand to the back of his neck in the maneuver.

Trigger warning Rough, forced, adult content. Continued from The Great Adventure

The chime from the gate opening let Chad and Sara know company was coming. It was expected of course, the nice-looking couple had made reservations for a week-long stay at the country retreat. Chad walked in the house to check the CCTV his gaze fixated on the jeep’s slow approach. Watching as it crept along sending up a cloud of dust along the rock driveway. Just as they came to the bend where they would be in sight Chad got up to give them a proper meeting.

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It had been Sara’s idea to turn the family farm into a retreat to make some extra money. Chad was opposed to it at first but warmed up to the idea when she shared her ideas and the advantages it could present. The idea of having strangers freely roaming over the same land he grew up and played on was bothersome at first. It was not until he talked with his lifelong friend Steven that he realized it could be a great idea. The two of them had always been inseparable and even now lived only a mile apart.

Chad greeted the new arrivals and gave them the basic rundown of the place and of course his hand drawn map of the grounds. He had created special romantic trails cut through the place down to the creek and small waterfall, he even made a couple of gazebos for hanging out and letting the day pass by. He left out several personal favorite areas on the grounds, marking them on the map as dangerous areas for visitors to avoid. Areas like the cave he used to play in as a kid and later took his friends to and a few special ladies to. Also the old stone building Steven had found with him when they were teens that eventually it became their unofficial clubhouse. Chad watch the couple get into their jeep and drive to the cabin in the back. While they were on their way, he sent a text to Steven.

“Game on”

“See you tonight” was the reply.

“Hey Sara!” Chad bellowed through the house “Are we supposed to make them dinner tonight?”

Sara swung around the corner one hand on the frame with a lollypop in her mouth and a half smile.

“Nope, they just asked for a basket of fruit for tonight.” She replied

Her blonde pigtails bound with the bright pink bows bounced around her face as she playfully walked toward Chad. Her long slender finger poked him in the chest and drew a heart along the checkered pattern shirt. She turned playfully leaning back and running her hand to the back of his neck in the maneuver.

“You fancy them?”

Chad swallowed hard and felt his pulse racing. Sara was almost a decade younger with her twenty fifth birthday just around the corner, but just as wild and crazy. She knew about the antics of her husband and his best friend; they were the troublemakers that turn into respectable men as far as anyone else knew. She was no fool, she knew their proclivity for getting into trouble was hidden just under that calm appearance.

“How about I relieve some of that tension before you let your ideas out run your thinking babe” Sara said in a playful tone.

She did not wait for the reply and she fell to her knees. Before Chad could move her hands deftly ripped off his belt. With her teeth she slowly lowered the zipper of his pants while never breaking eye contact. Chad’s moans were all the encouragement she needed as his shaft strained against the material. Sara put her hands behind her back and locked her fingers in the belt she used to hold up her skirt. The deft teasing use of her tongue slid the material to expose the tip for Chad’s pleasure and her desire. She worked her magic tongue as Chad grabbed the pigtails and forced himself roughly into her waiting mouth. She knew his mind was still on their new visitors as she made a growling sound that sent a vibration along his shaft. That was all it took for Chad to explode in her hungry mouth, her eyes smiling as she knew how to take care of her man.

The day passed slowly like all hot summer afternoon in the southern states. Chad kept himself occupied with chores around the farm. Sara made a fruit basket to take to the guests and headed down to their cabin that was secluded in the back. After a brief knock she realized they were out exploring the place. Placing the fruit basked on the shaded porch Sara heading along the trails to see if she could observe their new guests and maybe even watch them for a while. No such luck getting a show as they ere just rambling around.

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Sara headed back to the house and walked in the door. As she entered a hand quickly grabbed her from behind and covered her mouth. She had no time to scream as she was pinned against the wall. The hot breath smelled of peaches and moonshine. The dirty old work boot kicked her legs apart, the rough hand snaking under her shirt while calloused fingers grated over her wet slit. She knew fighting him off would be impossible.

“You are such a dirty whore; I can feel you getting wet already.” That unmistakable deep growl of Steven’s voice sent a shudder and thrill along her spine.

His hand ripped her shirt open, buttons clattering across the floor as his hand gripped her throat. The pinch of his thick fingers cutting off the blood to her brain as the room spun. Steven manhandled her like a rag-doll and tossed her bent over a table. Her brain was spinning when she felt the first thrust slam deep in her. Before long he was grunting like an animal and pulled out to let the white streams of his cum land on her ass and skirt. As Sara looked up, she could see the red glow from Chad’s cigarette.

“Did you like the show?” Sara chided as he got up and walked over to them… To be continued

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”Wicked
 

Kink, SSC, and RACK

In the BDSM world there and many terms and acronyms tossed around, most are self-explanatory. A few are so engrained that they are used with an expectation they are understood even though many outsiders or new people have no idea what the terms really mean. I would like to briefly share my thoughts and ideas on a few of these here. I might go into more detail later but for now here are the broad strokes.

Kink is one of my favorites, at first blush it known to be a sexual thing, but what exactly is kink, or kinky? By definition kink, when applied to a person, is a quirk of character or behavior, a person’s unusual sexual preference. As clear as that sounds it is still rather vague, after all who is to say what is normal or acceptable? It is also easy to get kink and taboo confused. Taboo is something prohibited or restricted by social custom. Not all kink is taboo, and not all taboo is kink though some people would judge other people’s kink as taboo.  Yeah, it gets confusing and can often be seen in many ways, often it depends on how open minded the person is and what the standard of the society there were raised in. In my personally dating past I have had a partner who thought having the lights on was kinky, others have had varying expectations and ideas of what kink was. With so many possible variations communication is the only way to assure you are on the same page with a partner.

In my opinion you should be able to openly communicate with the person you wish to engage with. I get it, sometimes it feels odd or silly explaining what you want or feel. I can assure you it is even worse having a relationship fall apart because you both wanted the same thing but were to afraid to talk about desires. Find a way to make yourself comfortable asking for what you want, practice at the mirror, with a pillow or stuffed animal. It is not always easy to open up, there is that feeling of being exposed when asking for something desired. The fear of rejection or judgment often inhibit the ability to directly ask for what is wanted. The struggle of should we just try and make it happen and hope for the best to just go without till hopefully the partner leads the interaction in that direction. I have found it goes much smoother when you just talk about what you want and desire, then see if you both are a match. The other two options leave it open for a growing resentment and eventual dissolvement of any kind of relationship.

Next there is SSC, with stands for safe, sane and consensual. Each word sounds self-clarifying but what does it mean in the world of kink and in particular, BDSM? Safe is following an acceptable play style that is not meant to bring harm. Light and breakaway bondage, easy off blindfolds and things of that sort, it often comes with a level of trust. Sane is the implication that both parties are in their right mind. They have no issue or reservation with the planned and discussed elements of a scene and all involved are of a sober mind. Finally, there is consensual, with all parties being engaged willingly and without being coerced in some way. It sounds simple enough at first glance, but how are you sure it falls into all categories? Safe requires being educated on the scene being performed, knowing what truly is safe both physically, mentally and psychology for all involved. Past abuse and fear could come into play here, a fear of the dark would make a blindfold a poor choice in some cases. This is where open and honest communication come into play. It could happen that because of the trust level a blindfold would be acceptable despite the normal fear of the dark. The same applies with sane here, sanity in a scene is what the parties agree upon, what limits are there and the trust they will not be violated. That last flowing into the consensual part, everything being agreed to before hand without a sudden change of plan during the scene unless it is to stop the scene. There would be no badgering or pressure to do something new or different.  SSC is often considered the basis of all BDSM scenes, there should be some degree of the SSC model involved.

RACK or risk assessed consensual kink, is what I feel most represents my personal style. It requires open communication and trust, secrets or hidden feelings in this type of play can lead to harm for one or more of the people involved. Most kinky activities involve a degree of risk, from spanking that could form a bruise with a remote possibility of becoming a blood clot to edge play that if performed without properly being educated can lead to permanent injury or even death. Most scenes are not the extreme level, though there could be parts that fall into the category with varying degrees of risk. From wax play that could cause burns to breath play, blade play, bondage, each with their own levels from mild to the extreme styles of play. Most people I know would say RACK is just for the hard or heavy players and I agree for the most part. I am also consciously aware that every form of kink play has a risk, it is just knowing what the risks are. If I am thinking about performing a certain type of risky play to be aware of all that could go wrong and making sure my partner is aware as well. Education is key in RACK play to keep all parties safe.

I said will kept this brief and just touched the highlights of what I thought about each. If you would like to share your ideas or comments, I would appreciate that very much. Thank you for taking the time to stop by and read what I have to say.

The Great Adventure

We went out and explored some trails and found the waterfall that was on the hand drawn map.

“Remember that trip we took to that remote breathtaking resort? It was breathtaking alright, it looked like something from that ghost town movie.”

“Come on Jackie, how many times do I have to apologize? I still feel bad about that.”

I really did feel bad, it was a week long trip to a secluded retreat camp in the Pennsylvania mountains. The promise of an exciting get away with the option of several exciting challenge courses sounded like just the ticket. I just missed the part that all the spectacular reviews were over a decade old. Jackie and I had always been the outdoorsy type with a love of excitement, sadly time had turned that place into something more like a camp of dismal disrepair.

“Come on Jackie, did you even look at the place I found?”

“Of course, I did!” she said in a huff with a cold glare. “What’s to make it any better than last time?”

“Trust me, plus what happened to your sense of adventure?”

“Fine but if I hear banjos or see a half fallen in building as we drive in, I am leaving”

“Fair enough” I agreed.

A month later we were pulling up to an old swinging cattle gate. The camp sign stood over the entrance like a silent guardian, slightly weathered but still acceptable for a remote camp. The crushing stone sound as we drove in and up to the check in desk did little to help settle down our nerves until we rounded the corner and saw the check-in building. It looked clean and well maintained. I heard Jackie exhale and start to relax. A couple chickens pecked about in a small garden plot near a barn like structure. A couple came out the front to great us, I recognized them from the brochure as the people who ran the place. A quick exchange of greetings and then I had the key to our cabin and a map with an explanation of all the amenities they had to offer.

gate

Walking in the cabin Jackie gave an approving nod as I brought in our bags. It was clean and had that rustic wooden smell of an infrequently used building but also the smell of cleaners that said it had been kept up for visitors. Jackie walking into the bathroom and let out a gasp.

“Look! It is clean! These is nothing growing in the tub or sink. This is how a place should be.”

“You are never going to let me live that down, are you?” I said with a half joking tone.

“This might redeem you.” She replied with a playful punch to my shoulder.

We went out and explored some trails and found the waterfall that was on the hand drawn map. It was good being out in nature again. The smell of the woods, the feel of shade cool breezes and the sound of the playful water dancing along the rocks. There were the remains of a crumbling stone building, it had a danger sign on the boarded doorway. Dusk was setting in as we headed back to the camp, a distant owl hooted and the sound of the nocturnal animals waking began. We arrived at the cabin as the first stars began to shine bright in the sky, it was breathtaking being out away from the city lights. A bowl of fruit was sitting on the porch with a note if we wanted dinner to come up to the main house. Snacking on the fruit the adventure of the day started to sink in as we decided to call it and get some sleep. It did not take long before we both crashed hard.

My eyes fluttered open, the disorientation of waking up in a strange place took a second to settle out. A trip to the bathroom as my brain caught up with where I was, Jackie was just waking up too. After a Danish and coffee, we were back on the trail. There was a cave on the map I wanted to explore. Jackie was never keen on going underground but she reluctantly agreed. It did not take long to find it. Once we entered, squeezing past the boards that were roughly put up to keep it closed to large animals, it was a perfect escape.

“So, did I find a good place for an adventure?”

“Yeah, I guess. You know these old caves give me the creeps.”

As we pushed in further it opened to a large space. It was easy to tell it had been used as storage or living space before. It was that quiet you only get in a cave, the silence that makes your ears strain and the breathing of the person with you sounds like stormy gusts. Slowly stroking my hand down Jackie’s back made her whole-body shudder. I made no reservations what was on my mind as I pulled her close, pressing my body against her. Hot breath on the nape of her neck as she melted back into my arms. Reaching around I slowly unbuttoned her shirt and let it fall exposing her to the cool air of the cave. Her nipples hard and erect in the dim light from out lamps, aching to be touched and toyed with. I took her hand and led her to a formation that could be used to lay her back on, slowly undressing her as I let my hands caress and explore her flesh. My tongue tracing along all the places she craved to have attention payed to. As I shifted and manipulated her body, I noticed notches in the rock. They would be perfect to tie her to, too perfect as a welling of excitement and dread grew.

“I don’t thing we are the first people to use this rock.”

Jackie gave a perplexed then a wicked smile.

“I wonder what evil things are you thinking? Shall I be your prisoner or sex toy?”

All I could think was that it was going to be an amazing week of adventure and naughty fun.

To be continued…?

Come enjoy the wicked fun

”Wicked
 

My Negotiation in BDSM

Negotiation in a BDSM scene is something I have been asked about several times. How do I do it? How does it work? What would it look like? I would love to say here you go, this is the formula for a successful negotiation and just remember to follow each step without deviation. It would be neat and easy, just bring a list of expectations and say this is what you must do. If I did that when I negotiated it would be quick fast and easy; as they ran away, probably screaming.


By personal admission I am a Sadist, Top, Dominant, bisexual, polyamorous male. I do enjoy what would be considered vanilla sexual interaction as well. That being said, where I think the negotiation first begins is with attraction. If the attraction is not mutual then nothing would happen anyway so walk away. As the saying goes, there is no use in beating a dead horse.
Next there would be a flirting and getting to know the person phase, we talk and see if we share similar likes and dislikes. A joke or saying here and there to see how the other person reacts. Eventually this can build into more daring and suggestive comments. At this point I determine are we just friends, sexy friends who can have risqué discussions or something more.
Once that threshold of something more is crossed It is time for more personal digging and discussion. Up to this point is looks like typical every day personal interactions evolving into a romantic relationship many people have. Now that that line has been crossed and it is apparent that we can be something more I seek a more private and personal interaction with the person I am interested in.
The one on one comes in various forms, from text to face to face meetings. At this juncture I ask point blank if they have other relationships, not that I mind, I just do not want to be blindsided by a jealous lover. In the same token I would let them know have a primary relationship and have no interest in replacing my primary partner. My primary partner has already been informed about the new person of interest and we have talked about the new person in some depth. At this phase I also discuss in greater depth the likes and dislikes of the person I am interested in as well as sharing my own thoughts and ideas. This is the point most people would consider the negotiation to begin, for me this has all lead up to a point where is an established base to continue from. This of course does not apply to a one-night stand or chance meeting encounter, for the most part those are rare and not the kind of dealings that are generally part of my desired interaction.
Now we have arrived at the part many think of when talking about the negotiation process. The open communication about likes, dislikes, curiosities and desires all spun around till a type of scene or relationship can be agreed on. It is a process that can go quickly or take months or longer to come to a agreed on plan.
What do you like? This question is an open-ended exploration of the other person. The answers range from an extremely specific type of engagement to I do not know, I just want to see what is out there to learn. If they know exactly what they want, and you are comfortable with it then congratulations and move to the planning phase, most often that is not the case. Then I start asking about what I like to see if there is a match. Often I will ask what do you think about (insert type of activity). I expect the yes, no or I am not sure about that, if they still are vague or say I want to try everything I get rather snarky. Everything is a huge list, from as soft and easy as petting, to hard core and full contact forced play. As I tend to be into heavy type play I say I would like to just (fill in the blank at the moment) Normally it is something on the extreme line and often they do a knee jerk oh hell no, that is not what I want to have done. If they still do not know after I have explained a few things I like, then I just walk away. I do not mind teaching or helping someone explore their boundaries but there must be a starting point.
Once there is an established set of boundaries then we set a time and place for a scene. Enjoy as many times as you both wish. Negotiation is knowing what you want and finding someone who wants the same or similar things. It can seem intimidating the first few times but after finding your own style it gets easier. Just remember, if you do not have the same likes then it probably will end in disaster. Also, if they want something you are not comfortable with then express that too, if the other person is insistent you must do or try it then excuse yourself and walk away. It is not worth putting yourself in a situation that you will regret later just to please someone new. Things can change over time as trust builds so negotiation is not just a one time thing but an ongoing process.

Never Surrender

I am pleased there is a pride month, that is wonderful and amazing. Yesterday I watched the Queen Adam Lambert Story. It really hit home as they talked about Freddie and thought it was not the main point it reminded me of the struggles the LGBT community has and, in many places, still goes through. The things we have endured to be able to publicly come together have been bittersweet victories. The lives lost and destroyed along the way were crushing soul felt blows. Safety was in our hands as we wore whistles or sound making devices just in case some group of “gay bashers” showed up and targeted us. We had to always be on our guard, careful who we told and knew we were bi or gay. It’s the 90’s in the land of BBQ, rock-in-roll and river side fun. The hand full of openly gay clubs were shut down by either police raids for acts of lude behavior or acts of violence that drove patrons away. Firebombs burned a few to the ground and parking lot beatings were not uncommon, after all we were “asking for it” by expressing our desire to openly be who we were.

Most everyone in the community was scared back then, the few that were out and open were always in danger. It was the early days of don’t ask, don’t tell for the military, a huge victory since before that anyone caught engaging in any form of homosexual behavior was kicked out of the service. Back then we did not have the LGBT movement, no laws remotely protecting us against discrimination. For those who reported being assaulted it often meant being branded or targeted. What we now call hate crimes were joked about, the victim often the “punch line” to be made fun of. That what they deserve for being deviants. Gays, bisexuals and Transgender people were grouped in with rapists and pedophiles, all equally sexually deviant according to the general public view at the time.

Back then, I was one of the loud and proud, with my multi-colored rat tail and bright colored underwear under white scrubs. I did not care what people thought and said about me behind my back, I dared them to say it too my face. Flamboyant and ostentatious were often used to describe me, I had an amazing primary male lover in my life and a couple female lovers too. It was a rolling party and the world was my oyster. I was bisexual and proud, open minded and in an open relationship; I was living the dream. Things changed and the dream turned to a nightmare, the jarring cold reality of life slapped me in the face as that relationship ended abruptly. Still loud and proud I looked for places to meet more like myself. Straight bars were good if I was looking for a woman, scoping guys was dangerous there. Gay bars, well that goes without saying except I was still too naive or stupid to hide the fact I was bi, but that is a different story for a different time.

The days of the internet had just started. Chat rooms were coming around and we had a place for anonymity and freedom. Finally, the freedom to talk about what we felt and our personal experiences. Ultimately, a place we could meet and talk about things that we wanted, there was an energy to it, a beginning of a movement. I don’t really remember when I first heard the term LGBT but it had arrived. It was still a turbulent time for anyone in the LGBT community. There were some people trying to find out who the gay or bi people were in the chat rooms. There were a few who would pose as gay or bi, “befriending” people and offering to get together for drinks. It was the new age and style of “gay bashing” as several were people were meeting up hoping to connect with an online “friend” only to be beaten or killed just for being who they were.

I had gone underground, or back in the closet, whatever you wish to call it. I had got married and had a couple kids and played the good American strait male. Not bashing but just a family man in a deep backwards southern town. I felt shame, not for being bi but for running away, I felt I had too much to lose to be engaged in the LGBT movement. It was not till two decades and two failed marriages later that I had another relationship that rekindled my bi side. I had met another like me, coy comments and double meaning phrases were passed between us before on night we found ourselves in a position we were able to take a chance and talk about the tension between us. I could say it was like coming up for air, but really it was like waking up again. Things I held back were finally able to be revisited and openly talked about. I rediscovered the LGBT community in my local area, it took a while for me to make any real connection and I do not fault them. There still are some people that want to hurt us for being open about our sexuality.

Looking back, I have great respect for those who stayed the course and kept in the fight. From Freddie who was center stage, my best friend who was able to be married in Washington DC several years ago to his wonderful partner, to the ones that attend the Pride Parades in whatever city they go to. I still stand by the thinking you do life your way and I will do it my way. I stand with pride alongside my LGBT family as we fight for our rights to be free to live without fear. I have found my voice again and am a loud and proud bi male who will never back down or surrender.

Check out who else is sharing for this #wickedwednesday

”Wicked