Life’s Pause

This week the topic was pause and I thought it was quite fitting for my life today. By definition a pause is a temporary stop in action or speech.

I hope it is just temporary, after all this was defiantly not on the list of how things were supposed to go. Without going into details on what has transpired it suffices to say interests have been shuffled around. Activities and events once participated in currently have been put on hold. It is no one’s fault, there is no blame to be placed. It is just life and the most insane timing in a series of events that has set every part of our world back on its heels.  It was not just us either, I was hearing story after story amongst our blogging friends, some so catastrophic I wondered how they were holding it together in the waves of chaos.

For everything there is supposed to be a season and a reason, or so that is what is said. Honestly I do care to know the reason, I just want the season to be over, for us to get back to the life we had and enjoyed. I know the reality, so much has happened and changed returning to how things were is impossible. Alas it is still human nature to look back to what we were comfortable with and wish life was like it was. Life is about change for sure, sometimes it seems that only through pain and destruction will we accept the changes. It is forced upon us as we fight tooth and nail till we are exhausted and succumb to how things are.

There is a personal struggle as well for me, two sides always battling, always at odds when facing issues. Do I go into military mode and scream damage control? Toss the broken parts out and attempt to cobble some facsimile of what used to work? Replace damaged items with new once we have weathered the storm and reached a safe port?  Next to expect the repairs to to make everything good as new, it seems preposterous and idea that things would go on the same. I seriously doubt this would work because then it ignores the history and scars that have shaped us. Honestly it has felt more like a siege for a couple years. Flaming boulders being lobbed over the walls of our inner circle. Outside forces we couldn’t control or predict having an extreme impact in our lives. Now that is more like it, the debris and burned walls that has been left behind. The concerns, fears, real emotional and physical pain that ripped through our world. It still hasn’t ended but it has lessened some, it went from external to internal. Nothing will ever be quite the same, I would be naive to ever think that, rather now it is a time for rebuilding, reshaping, remodeling. This is the part of life that we can use it to make us better and stronger.

I know, right now you’re thinking damn Raven, this isn’t sexy, this isn’t even fun stuff. No it is not, but it is honest life in all its raw reality.  In the depths of it all it has caused, or at least I have allowed myself, to draw on the deepest darkest places of my mind and soul for what has been a series of mental distractions. I hadn’t stopped writing, but rather I had stopped sharing. Why? Because it has been down abysmal dark lines that had become a twisted comfort. To know that could be a level of pain and horror deeper. That is where my muse has been digging, churning and bringing up depraved and what most would call vile and degenerate thoughts. I have wrestled with the thoughts if I should even share these stories. It would most assuredly make many people uncomfortable, trigger others, excite and thrill and unknown part of my readers. It would be a trip down a dark branch of the rabbit trails my mind runs along, where fear, chaos, torment and pain live. The predators and prey come alive, the bad guys win, there are no heroes, and no one saves the day. I had toyed with writing dark erotic/sex based horror in the past, but as event from the outer world unfolded the ideas that fueled the horror became an obsession and a release.

So I’ll just wrap up this long winded woe is me post with saying this, I started this blog unsure of where I was planning of taking it, what I was going to do with it. As life changes so do we and our view of others. I think it is time to let the colors fly and share what has become my obsession for some time. Enjoy, or not, that is your choice. I really hope in part it makes people feel and think, like any other good author would. After a pause for the past few years, it is time to come out of the corner once again.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

One day, someday

Someday, maybe a Monday, something to make it a fun day

Tuesday is such a snooze day maybe then we can play

Wednesday is a big day, wicked things to do and display

Thursday was chore day, but it can be rearranged I’d say

Friday such a busy day, the weekend almost on display

Saturday changing hats again, depends what’s arranged and when

Sunday last day of the week that wraps it all around so neat

To quote Steinbeck, “The best laid plans of mice and men”

Alas the plans are little more than rustlings in the wind

Make then, break them, change and rearrange them

Apologize and realize that life is a cyclone of chaos in disguise

The distant desire while growing tired but still press on knowing

Fickle like a pickle left to soak too long, the bite is lacking some fear is gone

It has either soured and been tossed out or had become something else stout

Folly to think it would have been so easy to have come about so breezy

Patience taught well to others, yet none to be found here while I shudder

I want it all, I want it now, before the dream disappears, lost is the fear

I want someday to be today, to feel the wicked lust blaze

To get lost in the moment of a craven depraved gaze

Feel heated breath on soft skin cause hairs to rise in carnal want within

Fingers probing as yearning growing, the wetness now is flowing

There between the thighs is animalistic hunger hearts boom like thunder

A kiss so hard and lustful there is a taste of blood on the lips

Teeth clasping the lip dragging away while pressing hips

Nails digging into flesh, material torn and flung aside

No pretenses just desire unbridled fueling the ride

A night, a day, wild passion on display

Left breathless as there is no words that can express

Hallowed ground made so by the wicked acts that abound

A lover, a fighters, a craven whore, and still so much more

Beholden to the chosen moment that is all fall into place

Forever to endeavor to find another someday to chase…

 

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The Key of Love

Beth looked at the box, her hands still shaking as she thought of how to give it to him. She knew she was ready, it was time for the next step. Her only anxiety was if he would step back in fear. She had dreamed of the day she would truly be his, forever. As the sun sank low over the horizon she knew he would be there in a few minutes. The low rumble of his muscle car down the street always got her engine going, as it drew closer she got that twinge and cursed herself. Her panties were damp thinking about his strong arms and piercing blue eyes. The engine came to a stop and cut off in her driveway, her heart only raced faster.

 

Peering out the window Beth saw him get out of his car, the long dark duster wrapped around him keeping the cold night air from his perfect body. Heath looked right to where she was looking out and smiled. He drove her crazy doing that, always knowing where she was, what she was doing. No time for that now as his boots made a familiar thud on the wooden steps and then the ring of the doorbell. She opened and sank to her knees as always requested. The smell of dirt from his boots and the leather still damp from the night made her quiver. The lazy curl of black hair fell down over one of his eyes as he looked down at her.

Beth looked up from the floor into those eyes as he reached down and tussled her hair and then put a finger under her chin. Lifting her slowly to her feet till she stood looking him eye to eye. Heath presented her with flowers like always, he met all of Beth’s mother’s expectation of the gentleman her daughter was to marry. For a moment Beth blushed as the thought of him being perfect in so many ways crossed her mind and made her even wetter. Heath smiled and kissed her. No words needed to be said as she reached down and unzipped his pants and again knelt down.

Slowly releasing his growing cock she licked her lips and began to kiss and suck him like he had taught her to do. Before him this was disgusting, but now it was a love and desire to please that drove her. Her naked body shimmered in the dim light of the room till he stopped her and locked his fingers in her hair. In a deft move she was bent over the coffee table and his weight pinned her there. A quick gasp as she felt him enter her. Slow thrusts at first till she became accustomed to his girth then he ravaged her body till releasing a flood of his seed in her.

His kisses now fell on her neck and down her spine as she felt every inch of her body was alive. He laid her on the couch and caressed her all over before kissing her soft lips again. His hand rested on her belly for a few minutes while they kissed. As he broke their kiss he left his hand in place and looked deep in her eyes.

“What did the doc…”

His words were cut off as she handed him the box. He opened it slowly and looked inside. A smile grew slowly across his face.

“You’re serious?” He asked

“Yes” Beth’s voice shook as she replied “I have never been so sure of anything before in my life. And the doc said six week.”

“You know there are other options if you want? Of course I will support you in whatever you decide.” Heath almost stumbled on the last few words.

“Well now look who is getting cold feet” Beth chided “Come on, let’s go to the bed room and make love again.”

Heath followed her and entered behind and pushed her on the bed playfully as they now fell into a light of wild passion. She used to hold back but tonight there was nothing to worry about. She didn’t even care if the neighbors heard as Heath brought her to orgasm after orgasm in every way he could imagine. She fell asleep her head on his chest knowing Heath would love her forever.

She woke alone in the early morning, Heath wasn’t there in her bed as for a moment she began to panic. Had he run? Her question was answered as she heard him walk back in the room. The box was open on the table She could see the shape of the key in the dim light. She took a deep breath as she picked it up and leaned down and kissed her. This time he entered her roughly, taking his lover in wild passion. Her body went into a wild orgasmic series of waves. Then she felt the cold pierce her chest as the key had been opened and revealed the blade. Heath had made it the perfect night for her as the steel cut into her heart. He leaned over kissing her as she felt her body fall into the most powerful orgasm of her life.

Afterwards Heath sat there looking at her beautiful body. He knew she was right in her choice, the cancer would have taken her piece by piece and this was her choice. He lifted the chalice and took a long drink and climbed onto her body and made love one last time to her. He felt the effects start to take him too. He smiled as he laid his head on her shoulder. His eyes closing as he would no longer feel the pain of his own terminal battle…

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Our Scene

The crop licked her flesh like a lover’s tongue sliding along the surface of her skin. Mews of pleasure and gasps escaped her lips. Each flick of my wrist made the hungry ends find the flesh it longed to kiss and redden. The pulse of the music set the pace, deep thuds of hypnotic sounds filled the room.

Setting the crop down now it was time for the bare hand sound. That distinct sound of the skin on skin as it sent her into a trance, her body shuddering with each beat as I could feel the growing heat. No prints, just the glow as my hand went to and fro, cheek to cheek in a balanced rhythm. Her coos being our lover’s anthem.

A change of pace, a paddle took the hand’s place. Padded wood now swatting the skin, flesh yielding as the impacts began. The slow beats made each hit freeze like a moment in time, the warm glowing flesh made a delightful sight. Deep booming thuds as the padded paddle made her flesh jump and dance. Harder and harder each swing came, knowing with this paddle all was fair game. A full on hit with a crash matching thunder, all she did was moan. More she begged for in a subspace mutter.

A new song as my hand caressed her now warm bum, smiling as I knew it had just begun. Her moans and arching into each touch a signal she craved more. Evil paddles lay on display my wicked fingers curled around the dark blue, a color that soon her flesh would share. The raised nubs made white divots in the flesh for a moment after each impact. The slow tempo gave a long time to get her flesh screaming for more. Another song the increased tempo increased the paddles speed. Her arch said it was no longer a want but a need. Strikes deliberate as I focused on the place she would later sit. Sadistic glee as I knew she was relishing now what she would later curse.

A deep glowing red now shown on her flesh as she demanded more, begged for more, needed more. It was time to switch to the dreaded cane, I knew she soon would cave from the pain. The short black rod normally would cause her to dance and call for a stop. This time she cried out, but not in pain but in bliss as her body shook from the wicked kiss. In dismay I reached for the crimson rod, it stung like the fire of an old god. As the song ended my arm was spent, even more to my dismay her flesh still only carried a red with little else to hint.

One last thought as she arched for more, I took the leather lash and applied a few more scores. A single miss on my part brought it all down. The house of cards fell as the leather had wrapped around. Her wail of pain as the red glow shown like red ember on her pale hip. The sudden realization we had been going for an hour as sweat poured off my body I had not noticed before. It was over for sure as she looked in the mirror in shock as well. Only red then the truth started to tell. She will indeed have some deep bruises to be proud of from this scene we did. The colors will come in a day or two. So next scene might be a bit milder as we explore other things to do.

Collaboration, Introduction and a poem.

Collaboration is something I am no stranger to. I have worked with other writers in the past, mostly for fun short versions of a story. Most fizzle out quickly as our styles don’t often match but a few have been spectacular. That thrill of pushing each other in creative ways and allowing the flow of the story to carry it to wherever it may lead. Though it has been a while since I have had the pleasure of sharing those I recently have written a few from ideas that people have wanted to see where I would take their idea.

 

A bit off topic I want to announce I would like to share with you all the news of me new blog site. I has been an interesting lesson and a definite learning curve. There will be changes to come and I look forward to sharing the thrills and chills as I continue forward.

 

 

I will leave you with one of my macabre poems

 

Duality

 

The itch is back, the shaking, maybe only visible to me but it is back.

My mind is wacked, dreams spinning as blood flows from an attack

Demon one moment, savior the next, duality rages as it engages

The armor is white but I am no knight as the conflagration rages

Scorching and consuming as screams shriek in the blood red night

Acrid fumes from the pyres of rotting flesh an incent of evil delight

The chill against the sweat running down my neck I see a form

Running in the direction tears streaming, my mind twisted and torn

The demon inside licks my ear seducing the carnal needs that burns

The lithe creature draws close and the shake grows and desire yearn

It should be little more than honorable mention passing in the night

But the flaxen main flowing like tendrils draw my attention and delight

Crimson stain from ruby lips on pale flesh runs to its quivering chin

Eyes sunken and hallow from fright and being broken beg from within

The howls and screams of the pursuant reverberate in the long alley

Crouched in the shadow ever sinew tight ready to unleash a volley

Greasy haired beast steps into the light screaming at the fleeing thing

Indolence beast with a belly hanging under the stained white shirt

Half empty bottle in hand now hurled toward the creature so curt

Profane words scream as the beast cuts and stings with its tongue

Lithe creature trips and falls as it was distracted from its brief run

Closer and closer it draws toward its easy prey unaware of it danger

The shake continues to grows as fingers curl in both hunger and anger

It stops suddenly aware it is not alone, it turns to hurl and insult

The cold steel in its rib digs deep and eyes widen, the sing in felt

Screams fail to escape as the angle keeps it from crying for help

Eye to eye it is pathetic as it falters, gurgles, flailing and falling about

The original prey jumps with the fury of a wild cat to free its beast

Not surprised as its bruised hands try to strike and pummel at least

Like so many before it had come to know it can expect a certain thing

Growing to accept that this is all there is and there are no dreams

The quiver of its lip as he howls in furry released from the depths

This is but a little thing as it fights the newly arrived beast without rest

The hand swung with much force sends it splaying across the ground

No shriek as it lay twisted on the pavement, silence is an eerie sound

 

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