Into Me See

This isn’t sexy or anything like that, just a view into my mind and how I think some days.

In the realm between sanity and calamity there is a place where the people gather in mass. Huddled together as they watch on in disbelief at the world around them. Hope, fear, terror and joy all blended into a mass of swirling words and colors. Horrors beyond most individuals ability to comprehend is whispered, a land of darkness so sinister. Kittens soft and fluffy playing with bounding puppies now takes away the torrent of dismay. Fallow minds drift in and out of original thought as they are fed swill just for a moment of thrill. This place is the internet, inter-web, or whatever it is called in their confines of home.

A war broken into a flash of images and sounds, rockets fly and bodies lay on the ground. A royal marriage paraded around, the glamor and fashion for all to sigh and praise. On the surface it is so serine yet darker levels lurks underneath. Horrors that dared not be spoken aloud in public company, deviance that makes the most publicly perverse look pure. The glass shards of broken humanity choke down the bits that float into the light. Openly appalled but in secret drawn like a moth to a flame those horrors would fade if they weren’t in high demand.

Foul filth or hidden treasure, it is for each to decide. What is appealing to one makes another sick inside. Ghastly images of wars from ages past shock the onlooker as they hide the secret desire to know what happened to that missing hooker. Craven desire, wanton beast, animals that claim to be on a higher level. In the end it is nothing but flesh and blood that sinks into the void of macabre. Screams make lusts run hot as openly it is condemned. Would there be such a high number of hits if the masses were not drawn to it? Images of death and a live feed as a throat is slit.

The heart of man is a dark hole swallowing all that it can ingest. I dare not try to pretend to be above such craven desires myself. I fall prey to darker lusts and desires. Images that make others blush just serve to inspire my twisted mind. Questions of my sanity abound from those who look on. Dare if you will to take a look inside, can you feel the struggle and desire? At some point there is an edge, a ledge to stand over and look. Take the leap and hope to not dash on the rocks below or stand forever in the evening glow. They say if you stare into the void long enough you can feel it staring back at you, this I know all too well to be true.

The real question comes as I am asked what I want. The answer is often a confusing jumble of ideas and none linked to a single thing. Material things are but tokens of this life I find fleeting, only the feeling of the giver is what is felt when I don or admire a gift. Have I become listless or has my taste come to a point it is beyond even my understanding? Only time will tell what comes of this and where it leads. The rabbit hole is deep and I have fallen far, but the bottom is still beyond my grasp as I still tumble…