Our loony tune life

This is something a bit different, I always talk about communication so here is an example of a letter, well poem I wrote to express to my sub how I was feeling. Open and honest feelings are important so I will give everyone a look at how it works for me.

I am trying to say it without causing a fight

To not make it sound like you are wrong I am right

I need to tell how I feel before things explode

I also know that much is to be said for how it is told

Things change as time moves on this, I understand well

How do I share what is becoming a personal hell?

I think I clearly expressed what is on my mind

Dreams and ideas that make me feel crazy all the time

What I want, what I think what I feel, words fail me

Never before have they, maybe because it is insecurity

Yes your logic is sound, but the idea keeps sniffing around

There must be a solution before I lash out or drown

How odd to me, this never would have been an issue before

There is a huge difference, you I love and adore

The hiding, lying and cheating all stopped with you

Even secrets are not a thing to have for us two

Now I am the keeper of secrets again, I don’t know why

I damaged you more than your injury when I made you cry

I ripped your soul open because that locked place in your mind

I could not just accept some things should be left alone for all time

I have cried myself to sleep many times in quiet frustration

For my unforgivable acts there is no proper compensation

I am far from the thing you met, you have changed much in me

I remember the destructive beast I once was happy to be

Shallow and self-serving, ungrateful for gifts given in love

The change so slow I did not notice it till I felt a nudge

The Texas sized mistake as she came with pretense to play

I never forget how angry you seemed that things went that way

I attract the crazy so often that is true, she was just another

I felt guilt I missed the sign hurting you to play with some other

Flirting and flaunting have subsided for the most part online

The beast side openly shown to keep them away from my line

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What has come of us, will we be the old couple that stares over tea?

Glory days behind as we feel the coming inevitability

Scratching days off the calendar, sharing the stories once again

You remember the time when we, oh yeah, well mind hearing it again?

I am angry inside, we are not supposed to wither and die

Maybe it is just me filled with my arrogance, vanity and pride

I am angry with Laura, shattered a situation I had hope in

I am angry with Covid as it has forced un into isolation

I am angry with myself for wanting to feel alive again

I am angry with your injury and not being able to play again

Other forces bear down from outside, I feel contempt for the world

My mother, brother and so much more like darts are hurled

I know I am petty and ungrateful because I want so much more

I promise you this when I leave each day I will come back through the door

You are my heart and soul, this will ever be true for all time

Please be patient with me as I share the things that are on my mind

Wicked Wednesday

 

Fate’s Plan

So here we are at the 5th part of the story –The Great AdventureThe GameThe CaveCan we negotiate – as always this is for adults so if you are under 18 leave. TW: blade play

Jackie lay there frozen and tense for a moment while Sara ran the blade over the remaining articles of clothing. The deft hands manipulated the knife like it was just a continuation of Sara. The movements seductive and sensual as the straps of the bra that ran over each shoulder were cut, the sharp steel slicing the cloth effortlessly. I was mesmerized as the blade danced along the remaining cloth covering Jackie’s breasts. The tip disappearing under the center gore then reappearing as the silver sharp phallus glided easily under the material. The wicked grin crossing Sara’s face as Jackie gasped when the tip touched against her throat. Leaning down Sara kissed her captive deep and passionately, with a twist of her wrist and pulling back movement the material split open springing the cup to either side and exposing the gorgeous B cup breast I have many times enjoyed myself.

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For a moment, my view was obscured as Sara crossed over and positioned herself at Jackie’s head. It was arousing watching those lips and tongue dance over her exposed flesh. Special attention was given with soft kisses where the blade had passed and left a thin red line. Not enough to bleed but enough to know Sara could have easily cut her if she wanted to. It was like a dance as Jackie arched into the attention of her new seductress, moans of arousal grew with each lick, kiss and touch of blade. This time the silver slowly disappeared into the waist band of her shorts, the spine of the blade pressing against Jackie’s sexy flat belly.

It was mesmerizing watching as Sara used the blade and slid it in and out of the shorts, each invasion going a little deeper till the tip could be seen pressing against the material for a couple of strokes before bursting through like a metallic release escaping the confines. The motioned continues as the expanse in the material grew and eventually made a complete opening along the zipper that still was pulled closed. The next few minutes Sara took full advantage of the compromising position Jackie was in. Straddling her face and letting the material of the skirt fall around, obstructing the view from the guys while toying with Jackie’s clit and soft wet lips by sliding the spine back and forth and wiggling to at the same time.

Jackie’s hands had a tight grip on Sara’s thighs, holding her close. Her increasing moans while Sara mercilessly teased her turned my mild but often kinky girl into a wild cat. The shift was breathtaking as suddenly Jackie arched and dug her nails into Sara’s legs. The blade clattered on the side of the table and to the floor as Sara arched and howled herself. It was more a surprise and shock that erupted then Sara dove for Jackie with wild abandonment her face and mouth planted firm in newly exposed flesh. Sara gripped and pulled Jackie’s legs up and it was easy to see this was a battle of wills. I have never been so turned on, the animalistic growls emanating from the two of them was spectacular. Jackie fumbled around reaching on the floor till Steven jumped forward and handed her the blade he carried on his hip. The remains of the shorts were gone in a moment and Sara turned the knife so she was holding the blade. The rounded handle found the opening of Jackie’s wet pussy, in a flash the butt of the knife was pushed in and Sara used it to fuck the wild cat she had bucking under her.

Steven had moved back but he had unzipped his pants and was stroking while watching the girls go at it. I could hear Chad next to me, his breath ragged as he was caught up by the show. There was no hiding my erection as it pressed against my pants, demanding to be released. It felt odd for a moment as I pulled my zipper down and released my cock till, I saw from the corner of my eye Chad had done the same. The girls showed no sign of letting up, Sara had Jackie’s clit in her teeth and she was tugging and pulling on it while the handle was fucking my girl. Jackie stiffened and Sara let out a scream, both women in a locked moment of pain and pleasure.

I could feel chad’s eyes on me as I moved behind Sara and lifted her skirt. I needed to see Jackie’s face, I wanted to shoot my load on it while She was obsessed with another lover. A moment of shock, Jackie’s nails hand dug in and made Sara bleed, but even more there was Blood on Jackie’s face. In the heat of the moment Jackie had bitten down enough to draw blood.

“Oh hell.” Chad said just above a whisper “no wonder Sara was going buck wild. She gets off on being bitten hard like that.”

We ere just flies on the wall, Jackie and Sara had forgotten we existed till now. Jackie opened her eyes, fire burned in them. Jackie let go with a hand and snaked it around so that she could finger Sara as I watched. Her thumb rubbing Sara’s clit as the next three sank into her wet hole. Jackie’s pinky teasing the edge of Sara’s ass. It was the show of a lifetime as both women pushed the other to the heights of pleasure. Several orgasms later both were starting to slow down. Sara slowly dismounted and went over to the other flat surface as Chad checked on her wounds.

“Your girl did a good job on mine. Shall we take this to the house so we can clean up and see what other things we can get into?” Chad asked

Jackie and I were excited by that thought so we gather out stuff and off we went with them. It was like fate had planned this wild getaway for us.

To Be Continued…

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Wicked Wednesday

 

BDSM

Whips, chains and ropes oh my, the world of BDSM is an exciting realm to explore and see how far it will take you. BDSM covers such a huge realm from soft DD/lg (Daddy Dom/little girl) to rope bunnies, D/s (Dominant/submissive), and more extreme relationships. One misconception commonly held is the need to engage in sex to have a scene. Do not misunderstand me, sex and sexuality play a part but there is no need for actual penetration while doing a scene. A rope bunny can be tied fully clothed, a spanking scene can be done with jeans on, in fact the jeans can make it sting more.

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Ask any professional Dom or Dommie, often their scenes do not allow for penetration because of the situation. Especially if the local laws prevent it. Without going into each state or countries regulation it is safe to assume that in many places the interaction between a professional top or bottom with a client sexual intercourse is illegal. Thin about how much more energy would be put toward a scene if having sex was taken off the table.

For a what would be consider a good satisfying scene there might need to be a bit more creativity. Expand your thinking of how to make it exciting for the partner. Use that brain and see what is possible, a rope bunny with different color rope to make it more pretty or take time to learn a new knot tie or whole form of tying. A spanking scene can be fun with various kinds of impact toys. A good spanker knows how each item delivers a different kind of impact. From floggers to paddles or canes, each having their own feel and type of impact, a good spanker knows each one works and feels.

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The key in BDSM is that is creates a deeper connection and exploration. Have fun, and for goodness sake Tops do not take yourself so seriously that laughter is a bad thing. I have seen those stuffy Top that are total control freaks needing it to go perfect. If something goes sideways, they totally lose their mind. Where is the fun and excitement in that? Just relax and go with the moment and enjoy it.

BDSM is a beautiful realm, it takes communication and honesty to make it work. If you feel you are unable to share every desire and need then that is not the relationship you need to be in. A single scene or two would be fine, but it would bode trouble for a long-term relationship. Neither side should have secrets, they are horrible and will eventually ruin the relationship. If one needs a poly relationship and the other monogamous it will lead to cheating or resentment. If one need to be involved in impact play and the other finds it boring or hates it then it will eventually lead to disaster for the relationship. If one is into CNC (consensual – nonconsensual) and the other holds back the secret they were assaulted, it can lead to an explosive situation or total breakdown in a scene.

I for one enjoy the world of BDSM and hope you do as well. My wish to everyone is that they have many wonderful experiences and grown in their wisdom and adventure. So have fun people and always remember to practice safety when engaging in any form of BDSM play.

Can we negotiate

I felt a shudder as Steven was close to my other side. Sara took the Bowie knife and slowly cut the remaining cloths off Jackie and tied her down.

Continued from the story like I have been running for the past month. Enjoy and for those under 18 this is not a place for you do please leave.

The previous stories are .The Great Adventure .The Game .The Cave

Sitting down on one side of the makeshift table with Jackie my mind raced as Chad, Sara and Steven stood on the other. The feeling of apprehension growing in my gut as different scenarios played out in that crazy space everyone has in their mind. Best case we would somehow walk out unscathed from the cave then run like hell back to civilization. I am not really one to focus on a best case though, my mind ran more along the lines of never being found as we are tortured and left in the woods for the bears. Maybe our remains be found when they were breaking ground for the banjo hall of fame or something like that.

Sara was the wild card, twirling her long pigtails and smacking her gum like some country version of Harley, I knew she would have to be the one to reason with. The guys might be the muscle, but it was easy to see she was in control. Her crop top just barely covering her ample breast showing off her tight abs, the short cutoff blue jean shorts all but flaunting the rest of what she had to offer. Both the guys in their dirty stained blue jeans with dingy cut off tee-shirts sporting a different rock band, were calm as their eyes stayed focused on us. Jackie did her best to keep herself covered with the remains of her cut tee-shirt.

“So Bo, riddle me this,” Sara started off with a playful glen in her eye “you liked it when you thought Chad was watching you two, right?”

“Yeah, I guess.” I stammered

“Oh no big boy, you liked it. You made sure Chad got a good look-n-see. You did not really seem to mind till you felt trapped by me and Steven. So, do you feel trapped, scared, worried thinking about what we might do to you guys?”

Swallowing hard I new she was toying with me as well. Testing my reaction, my response. A classic battle of wills and resolve, or was it something simple as she was taking charge even if I did not wish it? No, if that were the case we would not being talking, the guys were people of action more that thought and restraint. This was more a cat and mouse game with her, or maybe more a couple kids coming to the playground and the others wanting to see if they could play too.

“The lady asked you a question.” Steven barked gruffly

I snickered and he bowed up. I knew he felt slighted but calling Sara a lady was funny to me. She was a far cry from my definition of a lady.

“My apologies man, no need to get all bent out of shape.”

It was easy to see he was trying to show off for Sara, but she was focused on me. I doubt there had been many men in her past that would have been difficult for her to manipulate. For her, I was an unknown, a challenge, she needed to know how far she could get into my head.

“You think I am not a lady” Sara said with a playful pout.

She got up and rounded the table. Running her hand up Jackie’s arm I saw Jackie tense up even more. Sara leaned in close and kissed the side of Jackie’s face, her lips slowly gliding towards those soft lips I had felt many times. Sara’s hand slid to the back of Jackie’s head and applied enough pressure to lock lips as I watched Jackie melt into the moment. I was far from the first time she had been with a woman and I always enjoyed watching or participating with them. The situation here though was quite different than any other we had been in before. It was obvious Chad and Steven were enjoying the view too, but they remained on their side of the table.

“Tell me tasty little thing, what would it take for you to agree to let me any my boys enjoy some time with you, and your guy?”

Jackie looked at me with confusion and concern in her eyes. We were far from exclusive but normally we had an evening or more of negotiation for the wants, needs, soft and hard limits. This would be a first for us negotiating on the fly.  She looked at the trio as they eyed her like a new toy then looked back at me and bit her bottom lip. That was a sign I knew saying she was game for seeing what would happen.

“What do you have in mind?” I asked after the long hanging pause

“Well big boy, how about you guys watching us girls enjoy each other and I tie this little sweet thing down. Nothing harsh just some oral and fucking. With condoms of course, we like to be safe when we have fun.”

I looked down at Jackie and gave a shrug, she looked up and smiled sheepishly then gave a nod to say she was game. The tension changed from apprehension to excitement as the guys started to shuffle around to get a better view.

Sara smiled as she kissed Jackie and ran her hands over her body and slid open her already cut shirt. It was so sexy watching them play together. Chad crept up next to me to get a better view. He reached down to his boot and I gasped as he pulled out a boot knife.

“Hey buddy, relax. Sara is a pro and you are going to love watching this.”

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I felt a shudder as Steven was close to my other side. Sara took the Bowie knife and slowly cut the remaining cloths off Jackie and tied her down. Chad was right, I loved watching her work, she was as good with a knife as I was. She turned and gave me a wink then handed me the blade as the guys got undressed and stood waiting for their turn as Sara enjoyed the sweet taste of Jackie.

“Just say red if things get too much for you baby, okay?” Sara said with a wink.

To be continued…

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Wicked Wednesday

 

Breath Play

I am continuing to share what I know about some of the kink world from my experiences. If you are under 18 this is not for you so scram.

Breath play is a multifaceted subculture that is part of the kink world. From auto-erotic asphyxiation to manual strangulation by a partner, it is considered one of the more dangerous of all the categories on the extreme side of the kink world because if it is done without a proper understanding it can cause brain damage and death. One does not have to look far to read a story of auto-erotic asphyxiation gone horribly wrong. There are also cases where a person either through ignorance or being “caught up in the moment” have compromised their partners ability to receive oxygen to their brain, thus leading to death or brain damage. I know, you are thinking damn man you are driving the point in hard about the danger. You are correct, I want everyone to be safe and have a great time. I would never recommend auto-erotic asphyxiation, ever! In a solo situation if something goes wrong there is little to no chance of being able to get help in time, even if your “buddy” is watching from Skype or Zoom. With a partner even then certain situations I personally refrain from engaging in. The potential risk is more then I consider acceptable for the reward.

Coffee

I will never use an object or device that can lock or catch where it is difficult to release. All you belt lovers I would highly recommend making sure the belt was unable to be secured when it is tightened. If the belt locks like it was designed to do then you will have to tighten it more and take a few extra seconds, that you may not have, to release the latch. A D-ring attached to a leather piece or old belt would be safer than an actual belt buckle and you can get one for fifty cents or less and any hardware or general store. The same goes for people who enjoy using rope to choke with. Twisting the rope to lock it so you do not have to use so much pressure to hold it can be dangerous. Twisting will tighten the rope even more around the neck, adding to the pressure you already applied. I seriously doubt your arms will get tired before you should have released the tension on the rope.

My personal recommendation would be using a bare hand to the sides of the throat and applying pressure for a few seconds to the artery, seconds being the count of ten and release. If you are unsure where the artery is then do a little research beforehand.  For any objects used on the throat to choke, said objects should be thick and preferably soft [like clothing] to keep even pressure. A shirt or towel are favorites of mine, they are thick and soft but get the intended result. Never use excessive pressure because it would be easy to damage or crush the larynx and /or trachea, also known as the windpipe.

Breath Play slides in and out of all the other forms of kink play like a sweet syrupy additive to a scene, it brings an additional euphoria to the one being properly choked. For the one doing the choking it is a rush of power and control. From the hands on, using a cloth on a neck, a pillow over the face (definitely not recommended without hand signals) to bagging; all come together in mysterious way to heighten the experience for some harder type kink players.

A simple hand over the mouth and pinching the nose is a form of breath play as well, often part of fear play I enjoy using in scenes. As simple as it is, the outcome is quite effective. It is close and personal normally with body to body contact. This form of breath play can also be applied by pressing a partner into the crook of the shoulder. Because the partner’s facial expressions cannot be seen this should only be done if both parties have talked about it before and have preset non-verbal signals.

Bagging is one I have never been interested in, it just never had been something I found fascinating or erotic, but I do know others that do. It is when a plastic bag is used over the face of a partner to slow or stop their breathing. I can not give any advice on this kind of play except like all other breath play use caution and think safety first.

Aquatic breath play is one I really do not care for. It included water boarding which in my opinion is akin to torture. Also, I have heard of holding someone’s head under water in a tub or pool while engaged in some form of sexual activity. For me this is way out of my boundaries. The danger of aspiration and further complications are high. Even though I identify as a sadist this is a realm of torture too far for me. In my opinion breath play should be about enjoying the ride not giving the other person a traumatic experience.

Before engaging in any kind of breath play type activity I highly suggest researching the risks and proper ways to engage in whatever form of this play you desire to try. Yes, it can be fun and yes, I do enjoy partners that green light breath play. I just want everyone to be smart and safe. Have fun enjoy and always educate yourself.

Blade Play

This is a blog for adults so if you are under 18 scram.

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There is a lot of debate over certain parts of RACK play. Each comes with their own risks and today I would like to talk about one of my favorites, blade play. Before anything else there needs to be a high level of trust. A blade is not a toy and things can go bad quickly if there is an accident. For me blade play is any time a blade is used in a scene. From using one to shave off the wax in a hot wax scene, fear play and even bloodletting, all fall into that category, in my opinion. One of the most interesting things for me is how so many times different types of play intermingle. I already mentioned wax and fear play, but a blade is not necessary for either of them.

The basic is using a knife to heighten a scene in some way. I will never forget a scene I saw at a club in Atlanta call The Chamber. Dim lights as a lady dripped candle wax on a guy who was tied to a table. It was obvious he was enjoying it. Once the candles had burned short, I thought it was over as she let him lay there for a minute. Then she pulled out a boot knife, her first move was fast sliding along her chest. I remember the gasps around me as I was transfixed on the silver that was showing an edge of red. It was the wax she had quickly shaved off. The next few minutes were frozen in my brain as I watched her shave the wax off his body. It was amazingly effective way to clean him but even more how she was making well practiced moves around his chest, belly and down his legs that had been painted with the hot drips.

I had used blades before but never like that. It was riveting to observe. My previous blade play was for fear play and some light cutting. I had a blade I kept dull so that I would not accidentally cut my partner. I could put it on the throat without the chance of cutting them badly, but there was that feeling of them stiffening because subconsciously there is always a reaction to cold steel in sensitive areas. It is a rush of primal predator and prey, that feeling of total control. It is often labeled as a sadistic style of play because of the close tie to using fear and pain.

Sometime cutting is involved too. I become transfixed on that beautiful crimson welling that can mingle with sweat or just weave over the skin in a slow line. Drawing lines along the flesh to make a design, a heart being my favorite. It is a way of making sure my presence is remembered longer than a bruise lasts. Here the blade needs to be sharp, mine are razor sharp. Caution to know how deep to go, often just breaking the surface is enough. Be sure the blade is clean as well; infections and excessive bleeding could be potential issues as well. Always have a first aid kit handy and be SOBER! Drinking and blade play are a poor mix. It would be easy to have a serious accident with a sharp blade. Also, alcohol makes a person bleed more, ask any good tattoo artist.

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I have several types of blades for different styles of blade play as well. From huge to incite a fear response to a small one that looks like it is a joke till the razor-sharp edge carves perfect lines. There is a natural fear of a blade hardwired in most people, that is why it is so effective in fear play. My regular pocketknife is the perfect size to produce such fear. Not obscenely big but big enough to make a person pay attention to it.

I can not stress enough with blade play to actively be aware of what you are doing. If you are not sure, do not do it. Safety is paramount in this kind of play; it would be easy to cause injury or death. With all that said if you do engage then enjoy. I hope this helps, if you have any questions do not be afraid to ask and I will do my best to answer them.

The Cave

Welcome to the next installment of this story line. The trigger warning is in place for readers. If you are under 18 scram, you are not old enough to be reading this. It is time to start the decent into the rabbit hole of where I envision this going. The first two parts are The Great Adventure  and The Game  .   ~And off we go!~

The cave offered Jackie and I a fun place to explore our kink even more. The couple bed like areas might have been used for sleeping or something but that must have been years ago. At least that was my hope. The notches were perfect for the climbing rope I always carried in my bag. Tying Jackie down I started to tease her through her clothing. Her nipple responding as I blew hot air onto the material then pulled back allowing the natural coolness of the cave to excite them. Those mews of pleasure encouraged me as I slid my hand inside her shorts. Running my finger over the wet hungry lips I had many wicked plans for later. Her back arching and eyes pleading for me to continue. Caught up in the moment I took my boot knife and grabbed her shirt. Without a word I cut it open exposing her beautiful breast. That gasp of shock and surprise made my mind race as I leaned down and took a hard nipple in my teeth. The whimpering moan as I tugged was sexy as hell.

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The sound of footsteps on the loose floor behind us made me freeze. Jackie was to in the moment to notice as I turned to see Chad the property owner watching us. He smiled and gave a wink as if to encourage me. I am all good with people watching but this was an unusual situation. The reality of us being in a cave on his property and the way the place seemed too perfect a find sent a chill of anxiety for a moment. Jackie was too far into what I was doing to let that stop me. Chad leaned against a wall and gave a since of ease as I proceeded to bite and lick over her body. I knew those favorite places she had, when my teeth grazed her armpit Jackie pulled hard against the rope. This time I used more force latching on. Her pleasure filled cry as I felt my teeth grip her flesh, she was going crazy as I knew how much she needed to feel my finger in her. Pushing into her wetness there was no holding back as Jackie exploded, the beautiful sound of her orgasm crashing against the walls of the cave.

The sound of Chad giving a clap for our performance shocked Jackie out of the moment.

“What the hell?” She yelped. “How long has he been watching us?”

I shrugged my shoulders “I do not know. I am glad he enjoyed watching.”

“Untie me!” Jackie demanded

“Why? He is just watching, and I know how much you enjoy being watched.” I growled looking in her eyes

“You put on one hell of a show.” Chad said “Plus if I remember right this cave is in the off-limits area. Ever wonder why?”

I swallowed hard as I could see he was really the one in control. Especially when his girl twirled around him. She had been hidden by his shadow in the dim light.

“Oh baby, they look like so much fun, do you think I could play with her too?” she begged Chad

“You would have to ask them Sara. Right now, it looks like they are scared as jackrabbits.”

Chad was right, maybe it had been too many crime dramas but all I could think was we were in real danger now, especially with the two of them there between us and the exit. I reached down to pull the quick release to let Jackie up. As I touched the tope another voice from the shadows.

“Not so fast sport, we were just enjoying the show. No need to get all flustered and run off.”

I could not see the person saying it but the shadowy figure with the gruff male voice sent a shudder along my spine. I looked down as Jackie as she looked back with fear and pleading in her eyes. I pulled the rope; it was do our die as her hands were free. My heart racing as they stood their ground. Jackie untied her feet as I moved closer to them to protect her.

“Aw Buck, no need to get all excited the voice said as he took a step forward.

The tall well build new guy was imposing. He reached out his hand to shake mine

“Hi, my name is Steven. I help with the upkeep here. We just heard some noises and thought something bad was going on. Glad you guys are okay. That is one hell of an adventurous girl you got there.”

Trepidation raced through me as I reached out to shake his hand. His big grin as we shook hands did little to set my mind at easy.

“So now that you know me, how about we talk about what you two are doing here?”

“I think you figured that out watching” I shot back smartly

“No need to get all huffy man, I was just trying to be friendly. You want to be friendly right?”

The tone of his voice made it clear we were going to be friendly if we wanted to or not. I looked back at Jackie. The look on her face was between worry and curiosity. I knew we had played games where she was helpless with strangers making me watch but this was different, this was real.

Sara walked over to me, she ran her finger along my arm and over my chest. There was a sultry mischief begging for action. She was adjusted to getting her way as she slid her hand down and gripped my crotch.

“Oh baby, you got something I would really enjoy seeing in action.” Her voice almost a dare as she continued her fondling.

“What do you have in mind?” I asked before I lost my nerve.

“There you go tiger.” Chad said. “How about we all sit down and see what kind of an agreement we can come to.”

Jackie and I stood on one side of the makeshift bed as Chad, Steven and Sara took the other side.

To be continued…

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”Wicked

Kink, SSC, and RACK

In the BDSM world there and many terms and acronyms tossed around, most are self-explanatory. A few are so engrained that they are used with an expectation they are understood even though many outsiders or new people have no idea what the terms really mean. I would like to briefly share my thoughts and ideas on a few of these here. I might go into more detail later but for now here are the broad strokes.

Kink is one of my favorites, at first blush it known to be a sexual thing, but what exactly is kink, or kinky? By definition kink, when applied to a person, is a quirk of character or behavior, a person’s unusual sexual preference. As clear as that sounds it is still rather vague, after all who is to say what is normal or acceptable? It is also easy to get kink and taboo confused. Taboo is something prohibited or restricted by social custom. Not all kink is taboo, and not all taboo is kink though some people would judge other people’s kink as taboo.  Yeah, it gets confusing and can often be seen in many ways, often it depends on how open minded the person is and what the standard of the society there were raised in. In my personally dating past I have had a partner who thought having the lights on was kinky, others have had varying expectations and ideas of what kink was. With so many possible variations communication is the only way to assure you are on the same page with a partner.

In my opinion you should be able to openly communicate with the person you wish to engage with. I get it, sometimes it feels odd or silly explaining what you want or feel. I can assure you it is even worse having a relationship fall apart because you both wanted the same thing but were to afraid to talk about desires. Find a way to make yourself comfortable asking for what you want, practice at the mirror, with a pillow or stuffed animal. It is not always easy to open up, there is that feeling of being exposed when asking for something desired. The fear of rejection or judgment often inhibit the ability to directly ask for what is wanted. The struggle of should we just try and make it happen and hope for the best to just go without till hopefully the partner leads the interaction in that direction. I have found it goes much smoother when you just talk about what you want and desire, then see if you both are a match. The other two options leave it open for a growing resentment and eventual dissolvement of any kind of relationship.

Next there is SSC, with stands for safe, sane and consensual. Each word sounds self-clarifying but what does it mean in the world of kink and in particular, BDSM? Safe is following an acceptable play style that is not meant to bring harm. Light and breakaway bondage, easy off blindfolds and things of that sort, it often comes with a level of trust. Sane is the implication that both parties are in their right mind. They have no issue or reservation with the planned and discussed elements of a scene and all involved are of a sober mind. Finally, there is consensual, with all parties being engaged willingly and without being coerced in some way. It sounds simple enough at first glance, but how are you sure it falls into all categories? Safe requires being educated on the scene being performed, knowing what truly is safe both physically, mentally and psychology for all involved. Past abuse and fear could come into play here, a fear of the dark would make a blindfold a poor choice in some cases. This is where open and honest communication come into play. It could happen that because of the trust level a blindfold would be acceptable despite the normal fear of the dark. The same applies with sane here, sanity in a scene is what the parties agree upon, what limits are there and the trust they will not be violated. That last flowing into the consensual part, everything being agreed to before hand without a sudden change of plan during the scene unless it is to stop the scene. There would be no badgering or pressure to do something new or different.  SSC is often considered the basis of all BDSM scenes, there should be some degree of the SSC model involved.

RACK or risk assessed consensual kink, is what I feel most represents my personal style. It requires open communication and trust, secrets or hidden feelings in this type of play can lead to harm for one or more of the people involved. Most kinky activities involve a degree of risk, from spanking that could form a bruise with a remote possibility of becoming a blood clot to edge play that if performed without properly being educated can lead to permanent injury or even death. Most scenes are not the extreme level, though there could be parts that fall into the category with varying degrees of risk. From wax play that could cause burns to breath play, blade play, bondage, each with their own levels from mild to the extreme styles of play. Most people I know would say RACK is just for the hard or heavy players and I agree for the most part. I am also consciously aware that every form of kink play has a risk, it is just knowing what the risks are. If I am thinking about performing a certain type of risky play to be aware of all that could go wrong and making sure my partner is aware as well. Education is key in RACK play to keep all parties safe.

I said will kept this brief and just touched the highlights of what I thought about each. If you would like to share your ideas or comments, I would appreciate that very much. Thank you for taking the time to stop by and read what I have to say.

My Negotiation in BDSM

Negotiation in a BDSM scene is something I have been asked about several times. How do I do it? How does it work? What would it look like? I would love to say here you go, this is the formula for a successful negotiation and just remember to follow each step without deviation. It would be neat and easy, just bring a list of expectations and say this is what you must do. If I did that when I negotiated it would be quick fast and easy; as they ran away, probably screaming.


By personal admission I am a Sadist, Top, Dominant, bisexual, polyamorous male. I do enjoy what would be considered vanilla sexual interaction as well. That being said, where I think the negotiation first begins is with attraction. If the attraction is not mutual then nothing would happen anyway so walk away. As the saying goes, there is no use in beating a dead horse.
Next there would be a flirting and getting to know the person phase, we talk and see if we share similar likes and dislikes. A joke or saying here and there to see how the other person reacts. Eventually this can build into more daring and suggestive comments. At this point I determine are we just friends, sexy friends who can have risqué discussions or something more.
Once that threshold of something more is crossed It is time for more personal digging and discussion. Up to this point is looks like typical every day personal interactions evolving into a romantic relationship many people have. Now that that line has been crossed and it is apparent that we can be something more I seek a more private and personal interaction with the person I am interested in.
The one on one comes in various forms, from text to face to face meetings. At this juncture I ask point blank if they have other relationships, not that I mind, I just do not want to be blindsided by a jealous lover. In the same token I would let them know have a primary relationship and have no interest in replacing my primary partner. My primary partner has already been informed about the new person of interest and we have talked about the new person in some depth. At this phase I also discuss in greater depth the likes and dislikes of the person I am interested in as well as sharing my own thoughts and ideas. This is the point most people would consider the negotiation to begin, for me this has all lead up to a point where is an established base to continue from. This of course does not apply to a one-night stand or chance meeting encounter, for the most part those are rare and not the kind of dealings that are generally part of my desired interaction.
Now we have arrived at the part many think of when talking about the negotiation process. The open communication about likes, dislikes, curiosities and desires all spun around till a type of scene or relationship can be agreed on. It is a process that can go quickly or take months or longer to come to a agreed on plan.
What do you like? This question is an open-ended exploration of the other person. The answers range from an extremely specific type of engagement to I do not know, I just want to see what is out there to learn. If they know exactly what they want, and you are comfortable with it then congratulations and move to the planning phase, most often that is not the case. Then I start asking about what I like to see if there is a match. Often I will ask what do you think about (insert type of activity). I expect the yes, no or I am not sure about that, if they still are vague or say I want to try everything I get rather snarky. Everything is a huge list, from as soft and easy as petting, to hard core and full contact forced play. As I tend to be into heavy type play I say I would like to just (fill in the blank at the moment) Normally it is something on the extreme line and often they do a knee jerk oh hell no, that is not what I want to have done. If they still do not know after I have explained a few things I like, then I just walk away. I do not mind teaching or helping someone explore their boundaries but there must be a starting point.
Once there is an established set of boundaries then we set a time and place for a scene. Enjoy as many times as you both wish. Negotiation is knowing what you want and finding someone who wants the same or similar things. It can seem intimidating the first few times but after finding your own style it gets easier. Just remember, if you do not have the same likes then it probably will end in disaster. Also, if they want something you are not comfortable with then express that too, if the other person is insistent you must do or try it then excuse yourself and walk away. It is not worth putting yourself in a situation that you will regret later just to please someone new. Things can change over time as trust builds so negotiation is not just a one time thing but an ongoing process.

Magic Box

The single light beaming down into Jasmin’s face blinded her from seeing across the table. The hard metal folding chair started to feel like a torture device. Her hands cuffed to a ring under the table forced her to sit up straight as well as prevented her from resting them. The room was a touch warm but not hot enough to sweat with classical music playing in the background.  His voice was monotone as he asked the questions making her even more anxious. She knew he was watching for any tells as he asked each question on the paper before him. Starting with her name, age where she lived, he worked his way methodically down the list.

“Have you ever engaged in any unusual or deviant sexual behavior, or do you plan to in the near future?”

That question jolted her to the core. What was considered unusual or deviant? Her mind raced across the different things her lovers had done with and to her. All of it was exciting to her as she explored her sexual sides. The sudden sliding of pictures across the table made her feel even more exposed. There were images of her bound in various positions, experiencing the joy of embracing her submissive side. The sudden scraping of his chair as it was suddenly pushed back. He walked around the table, little more that a form in shadows as he walked behind her.

“Look at those pictures!” his voice a commanding snarl “Do you feel this type of behavior is appropriate?”

Jasmin shifted in her chair, her mind went back to each scene and the pleasure she got from each one shown. She could feel her nipples getting even harder, that butterfly in the pit of her stomach came alive. His hot breath on the back of her neck as he was right behind her. She began to sweat as her face flushed.

“Well, is it acceptable? Is this the kind of behavior you think is appropriate to engage in?”

“I, I enjoyed what happened in those pictures.” Jasmin stammered.

“I see.” He replied. “What part did you enjoy the most?”

Each picture showed different type scenes, each had been new to her at the time. They all were something she liked. The one in the middle though, she tried to not look directly at it. She remembered the feeling of being naked in the room, kneeling as each hand was tied to her ankle, forcing her to sit up straight and exposing her breast. The bar between her knees keeping her legs forced apart. The way his rough hands explored her body, probing her openings wile all she could do was take it. The pinch of the clams on each nipple, the cold invasion in her pussy and ass when he put the strange looking belt oh her.

“What did you enjoy the most?” he asked again

“The one in the middle.” Jasmin knew better than to lie, he would have found out anyway.

“How interesting.” He said, his voice still steady even though his breathing had sped up. “Would you like that again? To be exposed and used?”

Her voice just above a whisper as she replied “Yes”

There was no time for her to react as he uncuffed her. Jasmin could feel herself offering no resistance as he manhandled her. Being picked up and laid on the table before she was secured to it. Her legs quickly bound then her wrists tied to her ankles again. A small stand was placed under her head because it otherwise would lean off the end of the table. In just a few quick minutes Jasmin was tied to the table with the pictures under her. Their uneven feeling over the smooth surface added to her feeling exposed. Then the magic box, she could see the cold metal inserts as he walked closer, the wires attached to the box. She shuddered as he pushed them in. A final touch as he added a blindfold, she could only hear and feel everything. A click and the light pulsing began.

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Jasmin lay there as the man adjusted the dials, the speed and intensity of the little shock running into her pussy and over the clit causing them to spasm till she arched without warning. The wave of pleasure took her by surprise.

“Now it is time for you to ride the wave” he said with a sinister tone.

A tweak to the settings and Jasmin felt her whole body tense, this was beyond words. The never-ending intense peak of an orgasm. She could hear him counting but it was like a far away sound. Then a click and her body collapsed. He chuckled as she whimpered.

“I told you that I could make you experience an unrelenting orgasm.” His voice almost triumphant. “I just needed you to pick which point we would start from. Now five, four three two, one.”

A click and he turned the machine back on. Jasmin jerked and arched suddenly; the peak of pleasure rushed through her body as he left it on the setting. The world started to blur more and more the longer he left it on. Sweat covered her flesh as he watched. Her muscles tight and shaking as there was no end. He flipped the switch off, she collapsed in total exhaustion. She half expected some smoldering effect from her body as he unhooked her. Taking off the blindfold she could see his smile like a proud cat that caught the bird.

“You did great Jasmin, you made it to the two minute mark.”

“Two minutes? That was just two minutes?”

“I told you, the box is a magic time machine. Now next time we will try something a bit different” he said with a wink and looked over toward the St Andrews cross.

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Come see who else is being wicked this week

 

”Wicked