Breath Play

I am continuing to share what I know about some of the kink world from my experiences. If you are under 18 this is not for you so scram.

Breath play is a multifaceted subculture that is part of the kink world. From auto-erotic asphyxiation to manual strangulation by a partner, it is considered one of the more dangerous of all the categories on the extreme side of the kink world because if it is done without a proper understanding it can cause brain damage and death. One does not have to look far to read a story of auto-erotic asphyxiation gone horribly wrong. There are also cases where a person either through ignorance or being “caught up in the moment” have compromised their partners ability to receive oxygen to their brain, thus leading to death or brain damage. I know, you are thinking damn man you are driving the point in hard about the danger. You are correct, I want everyone to be safe and have a great time. I would never recommend auto-erotic asphyxiation, ever! In a solo situation if something goes wrong there is little to no chance of being able to get help in time, even if your “buddy” is watching from Skype or Zoom. With a partner even then certain situations I personally refrain from engaging in. The potential risk is more then I consider acceptable for the reward.


I will never use an object or device that can lock or catch where it is difficult to release. All you belt lovers I would highly recommend making sure the belt was unable to be secured when it is tightened. If the belt locks like it was designed to do then you will have to tighten it more and take a few extra seconds, that you may not have, to release the latch. A D-ring attached to a leather piece or old belt would be safer than an actual belt buckle and you can get one for fifty cents or less and any hardware or general store. The same goes for people who enjoy using rope to choke with. Twisting the rope to lock it so you do not have to use so much pressure to hold it can be dangerous. Twisting will tighten the rope even more around the neck, adding to the pressure you already applied. I seriously doubt your arms will get tired before you should have released the tension on the rope.

My personal recommendation would be using a bare hand to the sides of the throat and applying pressure for a few seconds to the artery, seconds being the count of ten and release. If you are unsure where the artery is then do a little research beforehand.  For any objects used on the throat to choke, said objects should be thick and preferably soft [like clothing] to keep even pressure. A shirt or towel are favorites of mine, they are thick and soft but get the intended result. Never use excessive pressure because it would be easy to damage or crush the larynx and /or trachea, also known as the windpipe.

Breath Play slides in and out of all the other forms of kink play like a sweet syrupy additive to a scene, it brings an additional euphoria to the one being properly choked. For the one doing the choking it is a rush of power and control. From the hands on, using a cloth on a neck, a pillow over the face (definitely not recommended without hand signals) to bagging; all come together in mysterious way to heighten the experience for some harder type kink players.

A simple hand over the mouth and pinching the nose is a form of breath play as well, often part of fear play I enjoy using in scenes. As simple as it is, the outcome is quite effective. It is close and personal normally with body to body contact. This form of breath play can also be applied by pressing a partner into the crook of the shoulder. Because the partner’s facial expressions cannot be seen this should only be done if both parties have talked about it before and have preset non-verbal signals.

Bagging is one I have never been interested in, it just never had been something I found fascinating or erotic, but I do know others that do. It is when a plastic bag is used over the face of a partner to slow or stop their breathing. I can not give any advice on this kind of play except like all other breath play use caution and think safety first.

Aquatic breath play is one I really do not care for. It included water boarding which in my opinion is akin to torture. Also, I have heard of holding someone’s head under water in a tub or pool while engaged in some form of sexual activity. For me this is way out of my boundaries. The danger of aspiration and further complications are high. Even though I identify as a sadist this is a realm of torture too far for me. In my opinion breath play should be about enjoying the ride not giving the other person a traumatic experience.

Before engaging in any kind of breath play type activity I highly suggest researching the risks and proper ways to engage in whatever form of this play you desire to try. Yes, it can be fun and yes, I do enjoy partners that green light breath play. I just want everyone to be smart and safe. Have fun enjoy and always educate yourself.

Kink, SSC, and RACK

In the BDSM world there and many terms and acronyms tossed around, most are self-explanatory. A few are so engrained that they are used with an expectation they are understood even though many outsiders or new people have no idea what the terms really mean. I would like to briefly share my thoughts and ideas on a few of these here. I might go into more detail later but for now here are the broad strokes.

Kink is one of my favorites, at first blush it known to be a sexual thing, but what exactly is kink, or kinky? By definition kink, when applied to a person, is a quirk of character or behavior, a person’s unusual sexual preference. As clear as that sounds it is still rather vague, after all who is to say what is normal or acceptable? It is also easy to get kink and taboo confused. Taboo is something prohibited or restricted by social custom. Not all kink is taboo, and not all taboo is kink though some people would judge other people’s kink as taboo.  Yeah, it gets confusing and can often be seen in many ways, often it depends on how open minded the person is and what the standard of the society there were raised in. In my personally dating past I have had a partner who thought having the lights on was kinky, others have had varying expectations and ideas of what kink was. With so many possible variations communication is the only way to assure you are on the same page with a partner.

In my opinion you should be able to openly communicate with the person you wish to engage with. I get it, sometimes it feels odd or silly explaining what you want or feel. I can assure you it is even worse having a relationship fall apart because you both wanted the same thing but were to afraid to talk about desires. Find a way to make yourself comfortable asking for what you want, practice at the mirror, with a pillow or stuffed animal. It is not always easy to open up, there is that feeling of being exposed when asking for something desired. The fear of rejection or judgment often inhibit the ability to directly ask for what is wanted. The struggle of should we just try and make it happen and hope for the best to just go without till hopefully the partner leads the interaction in that direction. I have found it goes much smoother when you just talk about what you want and desire, then see if you both are a match. The other two options leave it open for a growing resentment and eventual dissolvement of any kind of relationship.

Next there is SSC, with stands for safe, sane and consensual. Each word sounds self-clarifying but what does it mean in the world of kink and in particular, BDSM? Safe is following an acceptable play style that is not meant to bring harm. Light and breakaway bondage, easy off blindfolds and things of that sort, it often comes with a level of trust. Sane is the implication that both parties are in their right mind. They have no issue or reservation with the planned and discussed elements of a scene and all involved are of a sober mind. Finally, there is consensual, with all parties being engaged willingly and without being coerced in some way. It sounds simple enough at first glance, but how are you sure it falls into all categories? Safe requires being educated on the scene being performed, knowing what truly is safe both physically, mentally and psychology for all involved. Past abuse and fear could come into play here, a fear of the dark would make a blindfold a poor choice in some cases. This is where open and honest communication come into play. It could happen that because of the trust level a blindfold would be acceptable despite the normal fear of the dark. The same applies with sane here, sanity in a scene is what the parties agree upon, what limits are there and the trust they will not be violated. That last flowing into the consensual part, everything being agreed to before hand without a sudden change of plan during the scene unless it is to stop the scene. There would be no badgering or pressure to do something new or different.  SSC is often considered the basis of all BDSM scenes, there should be some degree of the SSC model involved.

RACK or risk assessed consensual kink, is what I feel most represents my personal style. It requires open communication and trust, secrets or hidden feelings in this type of play can lead to harm for one or more of the people involved. Most kinky activities involve a degree of risk, from spanking that could form a bruise with a remote possibility of becoming a blood clot to edge play that if performed without properly being educated can lead to permanent injury or even death. Most scenes are not the extreme level, though there could be parts that fall into the category with varying degrees of risk. From wax play that could cause burns to breath play, blade play, bondage, each with their own levels from mild to the extreme styles of play. Most people I know would say RACK is just for the hard or heavy players and I agree for the most part. I am also consciously aware that every form of kink play has a risk, it is just knowing what the risks are. If I am thinking about performing a certain type of risky play to be aware of all that could go wrong and making sure my partner is aware as well. Education is key in RACK play to keep all parties safe.

I said will kept this brief and just touched the highlights of what I thought about each. If you would like to share your ideas or comments, I would appreciate that very much. Thank you for taking the time to stop by and read what I have to say.


Trigger warning!

Formerly a city hero, it had been years since he had dawned the guise that hid his identity from the mongrel population that cheered him on one day then screamed for his head the next. His will was as broken as the body it encompassed. The only sounds to be heard were the squeaking of the sign outside his cheap hotel room and those of the alley below. The all too familiar sounds of vile drunk men taking their day’s frustration out on some rent by the event girl. So many tragic stories, so many broken homes and broken bones. The knock on the door made every nerve left in his aged frame stand on end. Through the grimy peep hole he saw her again.

“No, not again” he thought

The freshly blackened eye and split lip was nothing new, Kate had been a runaway that got lost in the underbelly of the city never to be more than a trick turning junky. Her hands fidgeting as her weight shifted from one side to another. Dirty blonde hair in a wild mess just adding to her hopeless appearance. The stains on her shirt told him she had been sleeping in the alley, which meant she probably smelled of garbage and urine again. Pressing his head on the frame of the door he wanted desperately to just disappear, finally fade into the void of forgotten memories.

Pounding on the door again with more desperation this time.

“Come on J, I know you are in there. I saw your light on.” Her thick jersey accent screeched through the door

“You high again?” he croaked back in his gravelly voice

“No but I’m freezing out here. Come on, you know I’ll make it worth it for you.”

Jerry swallowed hard, she made him feel so dirty. Some hero he turned out to be, he hated that he wanted her so much. He hated himself for ever touching her in the first place, for not being strong enough to say no and just bring her to a shelter.

“I’ll let you play dress-up and wear your costume again if you let me in.”

Her desperation was growing as his resolve to never allow her in again was failing. She was the only one who had seen him in his mask and cape for years. The last time she vomited in his bed and it took a week to get the smell out as well as hand wash the last reminder of his former life. His hand trembled as he reached for the door. Slowly twisting the knob, she all but fell in as the mechanism released. The stench flooded the room as she scrambled to catch herself then crashed on the floor. She laughed as she tumbled in and fell to the stained carpet.

Her skirt flipped up showing her filthy body covered in dirt and whatever she had been crawling through. Under that was the tempting flesh that made Jerry just a man like all the rest. It didn’t matter he was past his prime, he felt his body come alive with a need he despised. He closed the door as Kate crawled to the sofa to gain her footing. As he turned the lock and heard it click he felt the welling of self-loathing build inside him. Craven men desire what he was thinking, his hands trembled as he walked up behind her. The growing need taking over his mind. He dropped to his knees behind her as she jumped crashing into the couch. As she scrambled he pinned her in place. He might be older but his need gave him a will and strength he had all but forgotten.

“J not like this, you promised it would never be like this.” The desperation in Kate’s voice jarred him

Jerry held on for a moment longer before letting go. The strength ebbing from him as the little that was left of his humanity surged in. He sighed as he still had Kate pinned under him.

“Hey J it’s okay, just let me get cleaned up and we can…” the words stuck in her throat as Jerry grabbed her slender neck.

All he heard was it is okay, nothing was okay anymore. A hero can only endure so much! Now he knew why there were so many villains! The reaffirmation of his need as his cock grew. Pushing Kate’s skirt back up and pulling his sweat pants down with his free hand there was only a moment of hesitation.  Sloppy wet, smelly, disgusting Kate’s pussy was just a hole for him.  She was his every failure to save someone, his hatred of what happened when the system failed. She was the dirty grime that most people turned and ran from. His grunted and thrust as hard as his body would let him, pummeling her cunt with all his rage. He felt his building release and kept pushing till he climaxed. Grunting as he spilled his seed in her, just more vile slime added to her already heavily used hole.

His strength spent, he rolled off letting Kate loose. Her body shaking, Jerry felt pity as it sounded as if she was crying. Her face turned and it wasn’t tears but laughter.

“My fucking hero. Dude I knew it was too good to be true. Safe place to get away my ass.”

Jerry fumbled as words failed him, Kate got up and brushed herself off. Walking toward his bedroom Jerry heard her open the closet. It took him a minute to gain the strength to face Kate again, when he did she was laid back on the edge of his bed passed out. He could see his seed leaking out of her as she was on full display. Next to her was his outfit with a picture on it, it was him with a woman he had saved before. It was like looking at someone else’s life as they were smiling together. His mind spun back to that day, and worse to that night where he allowed the woman he saved to “Thank him personally” for stopping the bank robbers. On the back it said my hero Jerry.

The next day on page 12 just a blurb, former self-proclaimed hero found in apartment dead from an apparent heart attack with overdosed local prostitute.  In the alley a young man found the outfit in a trash bag and put it on. Standing in front of the mirror he thought now he could become the next city hero.


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